(This is another throwback blog post. I've decided that I will share
blog posts from the archives on Sundays. As always, I hope you are
encouraged!)
As I was driving home from an appointment this morning, I passed an
orange sign that said, "Inmates Working Ahead." I often pass them along
this particular stretch of road and I usually don't think much about
it, but today was different. Maybe it's because traffic was moving
slower than usual, so I had a chance to pay more attention to the
scene. There were about twelve inmates all wearing their orange
jumpsuits with a reflective vest over top. There were three cop cars
and about 5 or 6 police officers milling around, also with reflective
vests on. What caught my attention was a certain inmate walking down
the median with a trash bag in his hand. There was a police officer
following him very closely with his hand positioned over his weapon. I
didn't have time to keep looking as traffic sped up, but something about
that scene tugged at my heart.
Here I was looking out
at the blue sky, my music blaring, feeling so thankful for such a warm
and beautiful day. I was thankful about the fact that I was having a
day with less pain. I was thankful that I was able to do a little
shopping after my appointment that I've been needing to do for several
weeks now. I was just thankful. When I saw the inmates working on the
side of the road, I began to feel sad for them. I was thinking to
myself how nice it must be for them to be outside in the sunshine,
but my next thought was of how they were going to have to go right back
to prison as soon as they were done with their work. All of a sudden, I
had much more to be thankful for. Most of all, freedom.
I
started to let my mind wander. I thought about how many people there
are who are walking around technically "free", but on the inside they
are in prison. On the inside, they feel like there is someone or
something following them around waiting to react if they make a sudden
or wrong move...someone waiting to take them back to their prison cell.
That used to be me.
I was married when I was 21 years
old to a person that I thought loved me and would protect me. All of my
dreams and hopes of what a loving marriage would be like were dashed on
the rocks of my actual reality. I felt like I was in a prison. I felt
controlled. The worst part was, during that time, I had also walked
away from my true source of freedom, Jesus. I still went to church. I
still looked the part of the sweet pastor's daughter. I looked fine on
the outside, but I was in prison on the inside. I had made a huge
mistake just a few months before that time in my life and I felt so far
away from God that I thought I would never be close to him again. I
thought he was angry with me for a long time. I know now that wasn't
the case, but it's taken me a lot of years to forgive myself and accept
the true, unconditional love of Jesus.
I wonder how
many people in my own world are walking around like this, with invisible
chains, like I was. If that is you, I am praying for you. I am
praying that you will run into the open arms of Jesus and accept his
love and forgiveness. If you are in an abusive or controlling
relationship, then I am praying for a way out for you. I don't know who
you are, but I am going to be praying for you.
It's
funny to me how something so common, like driving past inmates working
on the side of the road, can stir my heart to pray for people that I may
not have even considered praying for today. I truly believe that when
you wake up in the morning and say, "Hi, God. Good morning. I am here
today to do your will, to serve you in whatever capacity you need me, to
listen to you and keep my eyes and heart open for opportunities to be a
blessing to others. Use me, Lord." I believe that when we pray like
that, and we mean it, God will give us those opportunities.
I
have no idea who those inmates were, or what they did to find
themselves in prison, but it really doesn't matter. I am praying for
them too. We all make mistakes. Sin is sin. In our eyes, some sin is
worse than others, and there are different consequences for different
sins. But, ALL sin has consequences. In God's eyes, it's all the
same. In God's eyes, he loves us all, regardless of the sins we have
committed. In that, there is freedom! Maybe you put yourself in
prison. Maybe you let guilt consume you, so you've isolated yourself
thinking that if you punish yourself long enough, you can pay your
debt. My friend, that is wrong. If Jesus can forgive you the very
moment you ask him to and throw your sin into a sea of forgetfulness as
far as the east is from the west, then who are you to hold on to it and
beat yourself up? Let it go! Be free!
1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
Psalm 103:8-12
"The Lord is compassionate and merciful,
slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.
He will not constantly accuse us,
nor remain angry forever.
He does not punish us for all our sins;
he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve.
For his unfailing love toward those who fear him
is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.
He has removed our sins as far from us
as the east is from the west.
See?
It's all good! You are forgiven when you ask! Maybe you didn't put
yourself in prison, but you feel imprisoned by someone else, or by the
circumstances you're in. There is hope for you as well. Psalm 34:17-18
says, "The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed."
Jesus saves, rescues, and restores. Nothing you have done is so great
that he cannot forgive, nothing that anyone or anything can do to you is
so impossible that God cannot and will not rescue you from it. Let
that sink in.
God
rescued me from my abusive marriage and he restored me. He has blessed
me with an incredible husband of almost thirteen years, and two beautiful
daughters. Our God is the God who heals. He loves you. He forgives
you. He accepts you. Walk in that today and know that there is someone
praying for you. Until tomorrow then...
Love,
Tracie
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Day 18: W.A.T.E.R.
For some reason, I had the overwhelming desire to watch Josh and I's wedding video this afternoon. The girls asked me a couple months ago if we could watch it and we just hadn't gotten around to it yet. It's hard to believe this May will be thirteen years since Josh and I got married. So much has happened in our lives. So many of our guests are no longer with us, including several family members. And several of the family members that are still with us want nothing to do with each other anymore. Seeing everyone so happy and full of love for one another on our wedding day brought back wonderful memories. But I have to say, it was very bittersweet to watch.
Josh's brother, Aaron, was killed in a car accident on November 14, 2006. We still miss him so much. He was a very special and fun-loving man. I was 26 weeks pregnant with Sarah and Aaron and I had just spoken on the phone a few days before he died. He was so excited that he was going to be an uncle again. We were scheduled to fly to California on the 17th to spend Thanksgiving with Josh's family. The last thing we said before we hung up was, "See you in a few days! Love you!" To watch him leave his sweet video message for us had me in tears. Hailey too. But we took some time to remember him and ended up laughing together when it came time for the dancing at the reception. Our reception was seriously so fun.
Josh arrived home in time for the end of the video. By the time we finished watching it, we all had tears in our eyes. Tears of happiness and sadness mixed together. It was so fun to see how young Josh and I looked, how our voices sounded different, and the intense love and joy in our eyes. It was amazing to see our parents laughing and dancing together. I bawled watching my Dad walk me down the aisle and give me away; then later, when we danced our father/daughter dance. When I saw my sweet Grandma Peggy walk in, that's when I really lost it. I wanted to jump into my TV screen and be back in that perfect night. I wanted to have one more chance to hug everyone and tell them how much I love them. But, memories will have to do until we all meet again.
During the ceremony, our pastor spoke about several different things relating to love and having a godly marriage. I hadn't remembered everything he said. (It was quite a long ceremony.) But one part has stuck with me from that night until now. Our pastor used the acronym, W.A.T.E.R., as his advice to us for how to have a successful marriage. Here's what it means...
W: Weather the Storms
A: Affirm Each Others' Strengths
T: Take Time to Build Memories
E: Encourage One Another
R: Resolve Your Conflicts
Every meaning of every letter has been key in keeping our marriage strong. None of them have been easy at all times, that's for sure. But they are necessary and we have never forgotten them. Josh and I have weathered many storms. In fact, we're anchored into our boat again right now as we go through another one. We have done our best to affirm each others' strengths and minimize each others' weaknesses. That's a tough one at times. We definitely take time to make memories. That is so important, especially now that we are raising children. We encourage one another daily, even when we may not feel like it. And we do our very best to resolve our conflicts as quickly as possible. That was harder in the earlier years of our marriage. But, as we've kept God at the center and allowed Him to remain our source of strength, it's gotten much easier. Our hearts are softer now.
I hope you can take some of the advice that was given to us and apply it to your own relationships. It certainly has been something that has helped us tremendously. As I end this post, may I ask you to please forgive those who have hurt you. Please don't hold offenses and unforgiveness in your heart. What joy it would bring if instead of longing for the way things used to be, they could actually be that again and more in this present time. Back to a time of reconciliation and laughter. That is my heart for my family, and it's my heart for yours. Until tomorrow then...
Love,
Tracie
Romans 12:9-10 ~ Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.
Josh's brother, Aaron, was killed in a car accident on November 14, 2006. We still miss him so much. He was a very special and fun-loving man. I was 26 weeks pregnant with Sarah and Aaron and I had just spoken on the phone a few days before he died. He was so excited that he was going to be an uncle again. We were scheduled to fly to California on the 17th to spend Thanksgiving with Josh's family. The last thing we said before we hung up was, "See you in a few days! Love you!" To watch him leave his sweet video message for us had me in tears. Hailey too. But we took some time to remember him and ended up laughing together when it came time for the dancing at the reception. Our reception was seriously so fun.
Josh arrived home in time for the end of the video. By the time we finished watching it, we all had tears in our eyes. Tears of happiness and sadness mixed together. It was so fun to see how young Josh and I looked, how our voices sounded different, and the intense love and joy in our eyes. It was amazing to see our parents laughing and dancing together. I bawled watching my Dad walk me down the aisle and give me away; then later, when we danced our father/daughter dance. When I saw my sweet Grandma Peggy walk in, that's when I really lost it. I wanted to jump into my TV screen and be back in that perfect night. I wanted to have one more chance to hug everyone and tell them how much I love them. But, memories will have to do until we all meet again.
During the ceremony, our pastor spoke about several different things relating to love and having a godly marriage. I hadn't remembered everything he said. (It was quite a long ceremony.) But one part has stuck with me from that night until now. Our pastor used the acronym, W.A.T.E.R., as his advice to us for how to have a successful marriage. Here's what it means...
W: Weather the Storms
A: Affirm Each Others' Strengths
T: Take Time to Build Memories
E: Encourage One Another
R: Resolve Your Conflicts
Every meaning of every letter has been key in keeping our marriage strong. None of them have been easy at all times, that's for sure. But they are necessary and we have never forgotten them. Josh and I have weathered many storms. In fact, we're anchored into our boat again right now as we go through another one. We have done our best to affirm each others' strengths and minimize each others' weaknesses. That's a tough one at times. We definitely take time to make memories. That is so important, especially now that we are raising children. We encourage one another daily, even when we may not feel like it. And we do our very best to resolve our conflicts as quickly as possible. That was harder in the earlier years of our marriage. But, as we've kept God at the center and allowed Him to remain our source of strength, it's gotten much easier. Our hearts are softer now.
I hope you can take some of the advice that was given to us and apply it to your own relationships. It certainly has been something that has helped us tremendously. As I end this post, may I ask you to please forgive those who have hurt you. Please don't hold offenses and unforgiveness in your heart. What joy it would bring if instead of longing for the way things used to be, they could actually be that again and more in this present time. Back to a time of reconciliation and laughter. That is my heart for my family, and it's my heart for yours. Until tomorrow then...
Love,
Tracie
Romans 12:9-10 ~ Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.
Friday, March 28, 2014
Day 17: Sweet Sleep
Well, I didn't make it to the second night of my Hailey's play. This cough/cold got worse and I didn't want to be "that person" who ruined the DVD recording by hacking up a lung and blowing my nose 100 times. Sigh. I rested all day in the hopes that I would feel good enough to go. I'm sad that it didn't work out the way I wanted it to. But, I got to spend the evening with my Sarah and she brought joy to my soul.
I just tucked her in a little while ago, after reading her a bedtime story. I love that she still wants to wrap her arms around my neck and give me Eskimo kisses. She told me tonight, "Mommy, you're the best Mom in all of history!" Whether I believe that about myself all the time or not, my daughter does. Guess that means I'm doing something right! Although, I do believe last week she told me, "You're so mean! I can't believe you won't let me play my DS before school!" Ah, kids. It's an emotional yo-yo we are riding up and down on most days. My poor husband. At least our dog is a boy.
As I was snuggling with Sarah, I thought back to what it used to feel like to have my Mom and Dad tuck me in. I remember that no matter what may have happened during the day, I went to sleep knowing I was loved and safe. I remember thinking a long time ago, "When I have kids, I'm going to make sure that when they go to bed at night, they feel as warm and safe and loved as I do." I would lie my head on my pillow and just drift off to sleep, listening to the sounds of my parents moving around the house or talking quietly. Sometimes I miss those days. Especially when I'm sick and I just want my Mom to come over and make me her yummy chicken noodle soup and put a cool cloth on my head...
Do you ever have a moment as a parent when you wish you weren't the responsible one? Do you ever want to go back to when life was as simple as going to school, coming home and doing homework, helping with dinner, eating around the table as a family, and then being tucked in bed? I do.
I know some of you didn't have that kind of childhood. Maybe you didn't get tucked in at night. Maybe you went to bed lonely and scared. Maybe the sounds you heard outside your bedroom door weren't soothing and pleasant, but scary and unsettling. Maybe you didn't eat dinner as a family. Maybe you only had one parent raising you. Maybe you had another type of guardian raising you. Maybe you grew up in an orphanage. I don't know what your childhood was like. I only know that in spite of many challenges, mine was happy and safe, and I'm trying my best to give my children the same experience. I also know that no matter what kind of childhood you had, if you've accepted Jesus as your Savior, then He is your Heavenly Father and you are now part of an eternal family. That's the good news.
I think every parent feels like they fall short at times. I remember saying, "My kids will never do that. My kids will never behave like that in public. My kids will never yell at me or hurt my feelings..." Well, my kids have done many things that I would rather they hadn't. They can make my heart soar one minute, and the next minute make me feel like my heart is going to break in half. Being a parent is not easy. But I wouldn't trade it for the world.
As much as I wish I could have been at Hailey's play tonight, I know my husband is there cheering her on. I'm grateful for a husband that is also my teammate in this challenge of raising godly children. I'm also blessed with two very compassionate children who understand when I can't be at certain events. And they love me anyway. God is so good.
Here are some scriptures to ponder as you drift off to sleep tonight. Wherever you are, whatever your family situation, I pray that you will fall asleep knowing there is a God who loves you, and you are safe in His arms.
Psalm 3:5 ~ I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.
Psalm 4:8 ~ In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.
Proverbs 3:24 ~ When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
I just tucked her in a little while ago, after reading her a bedtime story. I love that she still wants to wrap her arms around my neck and give me Eskimo kisses. She told me tonight, "Mommy, you're the best Mom in all of history!" Whether I believe that about myself all the time or not, my daughter does. Guess that means I'm doing something right! Although, I do believe last week she told me, "You're so mean! I can't believe you won't let me play my DS before school!" Ah, kids. It's an emotional yo-yo we are riding up and down on most days. My poor husband. At least our dog is a boy.
As I was snuggling with Sarah, I thought back to what it used to feel like to have my Mom and Dad tuck me in. I remember that no matter what may have happened during the day, I went to sleep knowing I was loved and safe. I remember thinking a long time ago, "When I have kids, I'm going to make sure that when they go to bed at night, they feel as warm and safe and loved as I do." I would lie my head on my pillow and just drift off to sleep, listening to the sounds of my parents moving around the house or talking quietly. Sometimes I miss those days. Especially when I'm sick and I just want my Mom to come over and make me her yummy chicken noodle soup and put a cool cloth on my head...
Do you ever have a moment as a parent when you wish you weren't the responsible one? Do you ever want to go back to when life was as simple as going to school, coming home and doing homework, helping with dinner, eating around the table as a family, and then being tucked in bed? I do.
I know some of you didn't have that kind of childhood. Maybe you didn't get tucked in at night. Maybe you went to bed lonely and scared. Maybe the sounds you heard outside your bedroom door weren't soothing and pleasant, but scary and unsettling. Maybe you didn't eat dinner as a family. Maybe you only had one parent raising you. Maybe you had another type of guardian raising you. Maybe you grew up in an orphanage. I don't know what your childhood was like. I only know that in spite of many challenges, mine was happy and safe, and I'm trying my best to give my children the same experience. I also know that no matter what kind of childhood you had, if you've accepted Jesus as your Savior, then He is your Heavenly Father and you are now part of an eternal family. That's the good news.
I think every parent feels like they fall short at times. I remember saying, "My kids will never do that. My kids will never behave like that in public. My kids will never yell at me or hurt my feelings..." Well, my kids have done many things that I would rather they hadn't. They can make my heart soar one minute, and the next minute make me feel like my heart is going to break in half. Being a parent is not easy. But I wouldn't trade it for the world.
As much as I wish I could have been at Hailey's play tonight, I know my husband is there cheering her on. I'm grateful for a husband that is also my teammate in this challenge of raising godly children. I'm also blessed with two very compassionate children who understand when I can't be at certain events. And they love me anyway. God is so good.
Here are some scriptures to ponder as you drift off to sleep tonight. Wherever you are, whatever your family situation, I pray that you will fall asleep knowing there is a God who loves you, and you are safe in His arms.
Psalm 3:5 ~ I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.
Psalm 4:8 ~ In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, Lord, make me dwell in safety.
Psalm 121:3-4 ~ He will not let your foot slip - he who
watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who
watches over Israel will neither slumber nor
sleep.
Proverbs 3:24 ~ When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
Sleep well, dear readers. Until tomorrow then...
Love,
Tracie
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Day 16: It's All Good
This post will be short and sweet as it's very late and I've had a long day. I find it hilarious when God gives us a chance to practice what we preach. Tonight was the Opening Night of my daughter's play and I woke up with a terrible cold. I said to myself, "Really?!" Then I laughed. As if today wasn't going to be busy enough, I had to do everything with my nose running like a faucet, feeling like my head was going to explode. And yet, just like He does every day, God gave me the strength I needed to get everything done for my family and make it to Hailey's play. I had to use my wheelchair, and my nose looks like Rudolph's, but hey, I made it!
I wouldn't have missed my baby's play for the world. She did such a great job and I was so proud of her. I'm praying that tomorrow will be a day of rest before we have the encore performance tomorrow night. I would really like to be there for the second performance.
Once again, I am so grateful for Jesus and the strength he gives me every day. I wish I wasn't sick. I wish I would have remembered to paint Sarah and I's nails this afternoon. (We wanted to match Hailey.) I wish I didn't have dishes all over my kitchen right now. But you know what? None of that matters. I got to see my daughter overcome her fears and play her part perfectly tonight. I got to give her flowers and see her face light up when she spotted us during the "bows." Tomorrow is a new day. The dishes will get done and nails will be painted. It's all good. Until tomorrow then...
Love,
Tracie
I wouldn't have missed my baby's play for the world. She did such a great job and I was so proud of her. I'm praying that tomorrow will be a day of rest before we have the encore performance tomorrow night. I would really like to be there for the second performance.
Once again, I am so grateful for Jesus and the strength he gives me every day. I wish I wasn't sick. I wish I would have remembered to paint Sarah and I's nails this afternoon. (We wanted to match Hailey.) I wish I didn't have dishes all over my kitchen right now. But you know what? None of that matters. I got to see my daughter overcome her fears and play her part perfectly tonight. I got to give her flowers and see her face light up when she spotted us during the "bows." Tomorrow is a new day. The dishes will get done and nails will be painted. It's all good. Until tomorrow then...
Love,
Tracie
Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
my hope comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. ~ Psalm 62:5-8
pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. ~ Psalm 62:5-8
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Day 15: Don't Borrow From Tomorrow
I am continually amazed at the mercy and faithfulness of God to carry me through each day. Over the past couple years, I've learned how to trust Him with every part of my being. I've learned this kind of trust through intense suffering of many kinds. It's been no picnic, but as I exercise this new trust in my Savior, I feel myself being continually strengthened. Every time I put my trust in him, he delivers me again, which builds my trust even more. It builds my courage. It lessens my anxieties. Even though most of my circumstances are the same as they were two years ago, my attitude is completely different. Don't get me wrong. I still have those "days" when I'm not exactly looking at life through rose-colored glasses; more like scuba goggles underwater for all the tears in my eyes. I'm still human, after all. But those days are becoming fewer and fewer.
Another lesson I've learned more recently is that I can only face my days with the grace and strength God has given me for that day. Not yesterday's strength, not tomorrow's grace, and not next week's favor. God gives us what we need for today and today only. I've learned the hard way not to try to borrow strength and grace from another time. I've learned that his grace really is sufficient for every moment of every day. And some days really are moment to moment. Especially when I'm in a lot of pain.
In 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, The Bible tells us that Paul was given a thorn in his flesh, some kind of illness or disease. It doesn't tell us what it was, but it was painful and a hindrance to his ministry. In verse 8, Paul pleaded with the Lord three times to take it away from him. God answers him in the first part of verse 9. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Then Paul goes on to say, Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
I didn't know the true meaning of those scriptures until I actually experienced the power that Paul is talking about for myself. When God said, "My power is made perfect in weakness," I wasn't sure what that meant. But now that I've finally come to a place in my walk with God where I completely give myself over to him in those moments of weakness, I have been able to experience the power that he was talking about. It's not superwoman human power. It's not some hokey religious power, or some spooky Holy Spirit mumbo jumbo. It's a quiet power. It's a knowing that God is really right here beside me, helping me, lifting me up, protecting me. It's a covering of my mind, body, soul, and spirit. It enables me to withstand the attacks of the enemy and hold my ground.
When you let God into your weakest moments, that is where you will find His strength. When you choose not to let him in, and you try to handle things on your own, you will only find heartache and disappointment. You will feel like a failure. God does not want you to feel like that! Especially when he's offering you the opportunity to experience his power in such an awesome way. No wonder Paul said that he would boast all the more gladly about his weaknesses, even to the point of saying that he delights in them! He had the power of God resting on Him! I'm telling you, now that I know what that feels like, I have begun to look at my weaknesses in a whole new light. And it's amazing.
I have so many examples of how the Lord helps me throughout the day. It's hard to list them all. Most of the time, it's the small things that add up over time and make my trust grow. Maybe I will write more in another blog post. I will leave you with a final scripture and then I'm off to bed.
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. You are my strength, I sing praise to you; you, God, are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely. ~ Psalm 59:16-17
Until tomorrow then...
Love,
Tracie
Another lesson I've learned more recently is that I can only face my days with the grace and strength God has given me for that day. Not yesterday's strength, not tomorrow's grace, and not next week's favor. God gives us what we need for today and today only. I've learned the hard way not to try to borrow strength and grace from another time. I've learned that his grace really is sufficient for every moment of every day. And some days really are moment to moment. Especially when I'm in a lot of pain.
In 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, The Bible tells us that Paul was given a thorn in his flesh, some kind of illness or disease. It doesn't tell us what it was, but it was painful and a hindrance to his ministry. In verse 8, Paul pleaded with the Lord three times to take it away from him. God answers him in the first part of verse 9. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Then Paul goes on to say, Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
I didn't know the true meaning of those scriptures until I actually experienced the power that Paul is talking about for myself. When God said, "My power is made perfect in weakness," I wasn't sure what that meant. But now that I've finally come to a place in my walk with God where I completely give myself over to him in those moments of weakness, I have been able to experience the power that he was talking about. It's not superwoman human power. It's not some hokey religious power, or some spooky Holy Spirit mumbo jumbo. It's a quiet power. It's a knowing that God is really right here beside me, helping me, lifting me up, protecting me. It's a covering of my mind, body, soul, and spirit. It enables me to withstand the attacks of the enemy and hold my ground.
When you let God into your weakest moments, that is where you will find His strength. When you choose not to let him in, and you try to handle things on your own, you will only find heartache and disappointment. You will feel like a failure. God does not want you to feel like that! Especially when he's offering you the opportunity to experience his power in such an awesome way. No wonder Paul said that he would boast all the more gladly about his weaknesses, even to the point of saying that he delights in them! He had the power of God resting on Him! I'm telling you, now that I know what that feels like, I have begun to look at my weaknesses in a whole new light. And it's amazing.
I don't know if I mentioned it before, but this is the week that my daughter, Hailey, is in her big school play. They had dress rehearsal Monday night and tonight at the middle school where they'll be performing. It's only a ten minute drive, but when my feet and legs felt like they did at 4:30 this afternoon, ten minutes seemed like an hour. I knew in advance that my husband wasn't going to be able to drop her off these past two nights and that it would be up to me to drive her there. In the past, this would have caused massive anxiety just from the thought of being the sole person responsible for getting her to rehearsal on time. And, honestly, I was prepared for that. Why? Because it's been the pattern of my life for the last 37 years.
When something has been a pattern, even though I've learned these things I've been telling you about, it can take a while for the pattern to change. But the pattern is changing. I can feel it, I know it. I have peace where I once had distress. I have hope where I once had despair. Through the many times I've placed my trust 100% in the Lord, and the many times his power has "rested" on me, it's changing my old ways of thinking. It's strengthening me in advance so that I don't even worry about whether or not God is going to come through for me. I just know he will. Like he came through for me tonight. I drove Hailey to her rehearsal and even made it into the school to talk to the people I needed to talk to. Was it easy? No! Was it painful? Yes! BUT, God was with me and I knew it. I knew I was going to be ok.
Tomorrow is Opening Night of Hailey's play, with the encore on Friday night. In my mind, the enemy is trying his hardest to discourage me about being able to make it to both nights. He knows my patterns. He knows where I'm vulnerable. However, because I've chosen not to try to borrow strength from tomorrow, and because I've chosen to hand over my weaknesses to the Lord, 100%, I know that I surely will be at both of my daughter's performances because that's where I want to be! That's where God wants me to be. Cheering on my precious girl who has overcome so many things just to be in this play. I have the power of God resting on me, and Satan can't touch that. I can't wait to see my beautiful girl up on that stage.
When something has been a pattern, even though I've learned these things I've been telling you about, it can take a while for the pattern to change. But the pattern is changing. I can feel it, I know it. I have peace where I once had distress. I have hope where I once had despair. Through the many times I've placed my trust 100% in the Lord, and the many times his power has "rested" on me, it's changing my old ways of thinking. It's strengthening me in advance so that I don't even worry about whether or not God is going to come through for me. I just know he will. Like he came through for me tonight. I drove Hailey to her rehearsal and even made it into the school to talk to the people I needed to talk to. Was it easy? No! Was it painful? Yes! BUT, God was with me and I knew it. I knew I was going to be ok.
Tomorrow is Opening Night of Hailey's play, with the encore on Friday night. In my mind, the enemy is trying his hardest to discourage me about being able to make it to both nights. He knows my patterns. He knows where I'm vulnerable. However, because I've chosen not to try to borrow strength from tomorrow, and because I've chosen to hand over my weaknesses to the Lord, 100%, I know that I surely will be at both of my daughter's performances because that's where I want to be! That's where God wants me to be. Cheering on my precious girl who has overcome so many things just to be in this play. I have the power of God resting on me, and Satan can't touch that. I can't wait to see my beautiful girl up on that stage.
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. You are my strength, I sing praise to you; you, God, are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely. ~ Psalm 59:16-17
Until tomorrow then...
Love,
Tracie
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Day 14: Writing In The Raw
Well, I made it to Day 14 of 21. Honestly, I'm kinda proud of myself. I would like to say that I finish everything I start, but that would be a lie. I have about a dozen unfinished projects that I need to complete. I just don't ever seem to have the time or energy to complete them. However, this blog challenge is different because I really prayed about what God wanted me to do regarding my writing. He told me to blog for twenty-one days straight. I wish my response would have been more "holy," but it was more like, "Seriously? I've basically been "mute" for the last several months and now you want me to "talk" for twenty-one days straight? What in the world am I going to write about?!" Yep, real holy. But, because he told me to do it, he's given me what I've needed so far and I know he'll see me through to the end. (Of course, knowing God and his tremendous sense of humor, twenty-one days is probably not the end, but most likely the beginning...we'll see.)
I mentioned on Day 1, that I had been "stuck" for a pretty long time. I've been giving some thought as to why I literally couldn't blog for a while, and in an email conversation with an old friend, I think I figured it out. When I'm in an emotionally raw place, that's when I get writer's block. You would think that's where my best writing would come from, and you would be right in thinking that. But, when I am already feeling raw and vulnerable to everything and everyone, the last thing I want to do is expose that to anyone. I told my friend I was afraid if I wrote in the middle of the chaos and pain, it would come out too honest, too raw, too exposed. And maybe my heart wouldn't have been able to handle any form of criticism that could have come my way as a result of "writing in the raw".
Well, maybe I was right, and maybe I was wrong. But God's timing is so amazing. If I'm being super honest, it's also usually really frustrating. But, it's always perfect. My friend was the one who motivated me to start blogging again. She shared a blog post with me from a woman about my age who had a child that was stillborn. The transparency of this woman was beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. I was so ministered to by her courage in the face of unimaginable grief, and it made me wonder if I had been wrong in not writing through my darkest days. That's when I prayed and asked God what He wanted me to do with my blog.
He knows that I am still in a raw and vulnerable place right now. But I'm not where I was six months ago. Through the dark days, he was preparing me to write again. Because I pressed in to him and his strength, he was able to teach me things that I wouldn't have been able to learn apart from suffering. Things that are going to be with me and in me to help me be a comfort and a helper to someone else.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
I also love The Living Bible's version of these scriptures. What a wonderful God we have—he is the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the source of every mercy, and the one who so wonderfully comforts and strengthens us in our hardships and trials. And why does he do this? So that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy and encouragement, we can pass on to them this same help and comfort God has given us.
That is what I pray is happening through my writing to you each day. I pray I am able to encourage someone who is going through a tough time and needs some hope, or a fresh perspective on their circumstance. I pray that these words have brought comfort to you. God allows us to suffer for reasons that may never be known to us. But, when you read those scriptures above, you can see that he has a purpose and a plan to use our troubles for good.
The most important thing to remember is that whatever you're going through, it's not all about you. He wants you to learn from it so you can help someone else. He wants you to be better on the other side of your trial, not bitter. In order to do that, you must be willing to trust him completely and let Him be your comfort and strength. Apart from him, we will crumble under the weight of our troubles. So don't crumble, just be humble. Let him bring you out of the pit. Don't try to claw your way out on your own. Believe me, I've done it both ways. Staying in the pit, at rock bottom, just that little bit longer while you're waiting on him and trusting him is much better than trying to find your own way out of the pit as fast as you can. You'll only end up bruised and battered and right back at the bottom.
I will leave you with Psalm 40:1-3.
I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in him.
Good night, dear reader. Sing a song of praise to God as you go to sleep tonight, and rest well. Until tomorrow then...
Love,
Tracie
I mentioned on Day 1, that I had been "stuck" for a pretty long time. I've been giving some thought as to why I literally couldn't blog for a while, and in an email conversation with an old friend, I think I figured it out. When I'm in an emotionally raw place, that's when I get writer's block. You would think that's where my best writing would come from, and you would be right in thinking that. But, when I am already feeling raw and vulnerable to everything and everyone, the last thing I want to do is expose that to anyone. I told my friend I was afraid if I wrote in the middle of the chaos and pain, it would come out too honest, too raw, too exposed. And maybe my heart wouldn't have been able to handle any form of criticism that could have come my way as a result of "writing in the raw".
Well, maybe I was right, and maybe I was wrong. But God's timing is so amazing. If I'm being super honest, it's also usually really frustrating. But, it's always perfect. My friend was the one who motivated me to start blogging again. She shared a blog post with me from a woman about my age who had a child that was stillborn. The transparency of this woman was beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. I was so ministered to by her courage in the face of unimaginable grief, and it made me wonder if I had been wrong in not writing through my darkest days. That's when I prayed and asked God what He wanted me to do with my blog.
He knows that I am still in a raw and vulnerable place right now. But I'm not where I was six months ago. Through the dark days, he was preparing me to write again. Because I pressed in to him and his strength, he was able to teach me things that I wouldn't have been able to learn apart from suffering. Things that are going to be with me and in me to help me be a comfort and a helper to someone else.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
I also love The Living Bible's version of these scriptures. What a wonderful God we have—he is the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the source of every mercy, and the one who so wonderfully comforts and strengthens us in our hardships and trials. And why does he do this? So that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy and encouragement, we can pass on to them this same help and comfort God has given us.
That is what I pray is happening through my writing to you each day. I pray I am able to encourage someone who is going through a tough time and needs some hope, or a fresh perspective on their circumstance. I pray that these words have brought comfort to you. God allows us to suffer for reasons that may never be known to us. But, when you read those scriptures above, you can see that he has a purpose and a plan to use our troubles for good.
The most important thing to remember is that whatever you're going through, it's not all about you. He wants you to learn from it so you can help someone else. He wants you to be better on the other side of your trial, not bitter. In order to do that, you must be willing to trust him completely and let Him be your comfort and strength. Apart from him, we will crumble under the weight of our troubles. So don't crumble, just be humble. Let him bring you out of the pit. Don't try to claw your way out on your own. Believe me, I've done it both ways. Staying in the pit, at rock bottom, just that little bit longer while you're waiting on him and trusting him is much better than trying to find your own way out of the pit as fast as you can. You'll only end up bruised and battered and right back at the bottom.
I will leave you with Psalm 40:1-3.
I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
and put their trust in him.
Good night, dear reader. Sing a song of praise to God as you go to sleep tonight, and rest well. Until tomorrow then...
Love,
Tracie
Monday, March 24, 2014
Day 13: Enough Is Enough!
Dear Readers,
Today has been one of the most exhausting days I've had in a long time. This time, more than physical exhaustion, it's emotional exhaustion. We are having some big challenges with our nine-year-old, some of which you may know about. I was not expecting my Monday morning to begin with screaming and a full on panic attack, but that's how Hailey woke up today. Josh and I were finally able to get her calmed down enough to find out why she was so panicked and stressed, and she was able to go to school. But putting her on that bus, knowing the turmoil she was still working out inside her little heart and body, just about broke my heart.
This is not the first morning I've had to do this this school year. This is one of several mornings where I've had to show "tough love" to Hailey in order to carry on with the day, stay on track, and go to school. No matter what she "feels" like in the morning, nine times out of ten, if she gets on the bus and gets to school she comes home with a smile and says she's had a good day.
I have been a parent less than ten years, so I know I don't know a whole lot yet. However, I do know my kids very well. I know when they are truly sick and when they're faking it. I know when they need to be shown compassion, and not tough love. Even though tough love is almost always necessary with my very strong-willed firstborn, it's not always the best thing. She is extremely sensitive. Always has been. With everything she's gone through over the past eight months, she's become even more sensitive. Josh and I have to be very careful with how we handle her right now. We were seriously considering taking her to the hospital this morning because of how out of control she was behaving. We didn't know if it was another physical reaction to something that she couldn't explain, or what was going on.
Let me tell you something. If I didn't have the Holy Spirit with me every day, guiding me and giving me wisdom on how to handle my children, I'd be sunk. I mean 10,000 leagues under the sea. There are days, like today, where I felt like I was treading water and about to drown in my frustration at seeing my child suffering and not knowing how to fix her. I can't solve the problem if I don't know what it is! I can see the battle going on in her body and I would give anything if I could stop it. However, what would she learn about how to fight for herself if I took over all her battles for her? I went in my garage and cried out to God, "This is not fair!" I was being honest with Him again. I am tired and weary of watching my daughter struggle so much on a daily basis. I cried in the Spirit out of my weakness. And after Josh took the girls to the bus stop, I yelled in the Spirit. I got mad. I took authority over my children and my household, in the name of Jesus.
Depression, anxiety, panic disorders, mental disorders, chronic pain, many types of cancers, heart problems, celiac disease, diabetes, strokes, the list goes on and on...run in my family. I took authority over all of it and said, "No! Enough! It stops right here! This will not continue in my family, and it will not be passed down to any future generations. This ends NOW!" I was mad. But I was not out of control. It's ok to pray angry prayers when they're directed in the right way. I am the momma bear and I was standing up for my family. It's my job to pray over my children. And praying in the Spirit is the only way that Satan can't interrupt my prayers. He can't understand what I'm praying, therefore, he can't twist my words into anything that would be of selfish or self-pity on my part. I don't even know what I'm praying when I'm contending in the Spirit. But what I do know is that God heard me. I know because I had peace when I was done praying.
I am so thankful for the Holy Spirit. Romans 8:26-27 says, In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. I want to pray in accordance with the will of God, not my will. The only way to do that is to pray in the Spirit (pray in tongues). The Spirit intercedes for me in accordance with the will of God. It takes the pressure off of me to try to know what to pray, or how to pray. The Holy Spirit is my Helper. He prays for me because He loves me.
I was once again in a very desperate place this morning. But there is no situation too desperate that God cannot rescue you out of it. There is no pain too great for him to bear for you or lift off of you. There is no problem so mysterious and frustrating that he cannot solve it. God knows exactly what is happening to my daughter. He knows what's happening inside all of us. He is the only one we can trust to give complete control of our lives. Life is a mess. It's hard. Evil is all around and seems to be chasing us down almost every day. But, God is still in control and always will be. Nothing happens without his permission.
That used to be really hard for me to understand. It used to make me question God about why he lets us suffer so greatly. But that was before I allowed suffering to teach me some things. I let God show me that there is divine purpose in suffering. It goes way beyond my understanding. I can deal with my own suffering a lot better than watching someone else suffer. Especially when it's my own child. Yet, even through watching her go through all of this pain, I'm watching it develop in her a compassionate and sensitive spirit. She cares deeply for others who are suffering. I truly believe that God is going to use this for His glory in her life. I know He has called her to something very special. So, while I'm waiting to see what that is, I will continue to fight for her in the Spirit. I will never stop praying and believing for her healing, for my healing. I know it's on it's way. Until tomorrow then...
Love,
Tracie
Today has been one of the most exhausting days I've had in a long time. This time, more than physical exhaustion, it's emotional exhaustion. We are having some big challenges with our nine-year-old, some of which you may know about. I was not expecting my Monday morning to begin with screaming and a full on panic attack, but that's how Hailey woke up today. Josh and I were finally able to get her calmed down enough to find out why she was so panicked and stressed, and she was able to go to school. But putting her on that bus, knowing the turmoil she was still working out inside her little heart and body, just about broke my heart.
This is not the first morning I've had to do this this school year. This is one of several mornings where I've had to show "tough love" to Hailey in order to carry on with the day, stay on track, and go to school. No matter what she "feels" like in the morning, nine times out of ten, if she gets on the bus and gets to school she comes home with a smile and says she's had a good day.
I have been a parent less than ten years, so I know I don't know a whole lot yet. However, I do know my kids very well. I know when they are truly sick and when they're faking it. I know when they need to be shown compassion, and not tough love. Even though tough love is almost always necessary with my very strong-willed firstborn, it's not always the best thing. She is extremely sensitive. Always has been. With everything she's gone through over the past eight months, she's become even more sensitive. Josh and I have to be very careful with how we handle her right now. We were seriously considering taking her to the hospital this morning because of how out of control she was behaving. We didn't know if it was another physical reaction to something that she couldn't explain, or what was going on.
Let me tell you something. If I didn't have the Holy Spirit with me every day, guiding me and giving me wisdom on how to handle my children, I'd be sunk. I mean 10,000 leagues under the sea. There are days, like today, where I felt like I was treading water and about to drown in my frustration at seeing my child suffering and not knowing how to fix her. I can't solve the problem if I don't know what it is! I can see the battle going on in her body and I would give anything if I could stop it. However, what would she learn about how to fight for herself if I took over all her battles for her? I went in my garage and cried out to God, "This is not fair!" I was being honest with Him again. I am tired and weary of watching my daughter struggle so much on a daily basis. I cried in the Spirit out of my weakness. And after Josh took the girls to the bus stop, I yelled in the Spirit. I got mad. I took authority over my children and my household, in the name of Jesus.
Depression, anxiety, panic disorders, mental disorders, chronic pain, many types of cancers, heart problems, celiac disease, diabetes, strokes, the list goes on and on...run in my family. I took authority over all of it and said, "No! Enough! It stops right here! This will not continue in my family, and it will not be passed down to any future generations. This ends NOW!" I was mad. But I was not out of control. It's ok to pray angry prayers when they're directed in the right way. I am the momma bear and I was standing up for my family. It's my job to pray over my children. And praying in the Spirit is the only way that Satan can't interrupt my prayers. He can't understand what I'm praying, therefore, he can't twist my words into anything that would be of selfish or self-pity on my part. I don't even know what I'm praying when I'm contending in the Spirit. But what I do know is that God heard me. I know because I had peace when I was done praying.
I am so thankful for the Holy Spirit. Romans 8:26-27 says, In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. I want to pray in accordance with the will of God, not my will. The only way to do that is to pray in the Spirit (pray in tongues). The Spirit intercedes for me in accordance with the will of God. It takes the pressure off of me to try to know what to pray, or how to pray. The Holy Spirit is my Helper. He prays for me because He loves me.
I was once again in a very desperate place this morning. But there is no situation too desperate that God cannot rescue you out of it. There is no pain too great for him to bear for you or lift off of you. There is no problem so mysterious and frustrating that he cannot solve it. God knows exactly what is happening to my daughter. He knows what's happening inside all of us. He is the only one we can trust to give complete control of our lives. Life is a mess. It's hard. Evil is all around and seems to be chasing us down almost every day. But, God is still in control and always will be. Nothing happens without his permission.
That used to be really hard for me to understand. It used to make me question God about why he lets us suffer so greatly. But that was before I allowed suffering to teach me some things. I let God show me that there is divine purpose in suffering. It goes way beyond my understanding. I can deal with my own suffering a lot better than watching someone else suffer. Especially when it's my own child. Yet, even through watching her go through all of this pain, I'm watching it develop in her a compassionate and sensitive spirit. She cares deeply for others who are suffering. I truly believe that God is going to use this for His glory in her life. I know He has called her to something very special. So, while I'm waiting to see what that is, I will continue to fight for her in the Spirit. I will never stop praying and believing for her healing, for my healing. I know it's on it's way. Until tomorrow then...
Love,
Tracie
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Day 12: My Biggest Fan
(This is another throwback blog post. I've decided that I will share blog posts from the archives on Sundays. As always, I hope you are encouraged!)
Do you watch American Idol? The Voice? Football? Basketball? Do you have favorite musicians, actors or actresses, artists, authors, or athletes? If so, you are probably a fan of someone. I've been watching American Idol this season. I love music and I love seeing young singers, songwriters, and musicians get the chance to live their dream. I love watching some of them who come from very tough childhoods be able to rise above their challenges and just go for it! What these young people get to experience is truly amazing.
It's always interesting to read comments on social media about contestants who were voted off of a particular show, or about an athlete who confessed to using drugs, or an actress who wore the perfect, or not-so-perfect dress on the red carpet. Fans are very fanatical about the people they admire, even to the point of overlooking serious faults and defending that person no matter what they've done. They remain a fan despite the insults and somewhat colored remarks that are being flung at them. They continue to point out the good things about the person they admire. They are sometimes irrational in their devotion. They continue to support the person, whether it be through voting for them to win a contest, sending them financial contributions, buying their merchandise, going to their concerts or sporting events, etc., etc. They are a true fan.
The dictionary doesn't have a definition for the word "fan" in the sense of what I've been talking about. What it does have are words associated with the word "fan." Some of those words are: admirer, enthusiast, devotee, fanatic, follower, groupie, junkie, lover, supporter, rooter, and believer. Wow! No wonder famous people love their fans so much! Who wouldn't want someone who admires you, who is enthusiastic about you, who is devoted to you, who is fanatical about you or what you do, who follows you, who loves you, supports you, roots for you, and believes in you? Sounds great to me! I have good news for anyone who has ever wanted to have a fan. You already have one, and his name is Jesus.
Jesus is, always has been, and always will be my biggest fan. He loved me when my heart was broken, he believed in me when I wanted to quit, he cheers me on on those days when I feel like I just can't take another step. He is fanatical about me. He follows me closely and whispers encouraging words in my ear. He has defended me and brought me justice in the face of false accusations. He has forgiven me and shown good in me when I've done wrong. He is devoted to me. He is the lover of my soul.
Jesus has never let go of me and he will never let go of you. No matter what you've done or are doing wrong, no matter how many times you yell at him and cry out in frustration, no matter how many mistakes you make, how many times you fail, he will always be with you. He will always be for you. If you wander away from him, he will go after you. There is no where you can go to escape his love. That is the good news! However, there is another part to this. When we sin, there are consequences. No matter how much of a fan you are of someone, if they break the law they are going to jail. You can stand outside the jail with signs and picket lines and protest at the top of your lungs, but they are still going to have to do their time. The same goes for us. Some people see God's grace as a "get out of jail free" card. It is not that, but so much more.
Because God is our loving Father, he knows what's best for us. He knows when we need discipline and when we need justice. He knows when we need help and when we need to push through and do something on our own. He knows when to cheer us on and when to close a door so we won't go down the wrong path. Because he loves us and because he is our biggest fan he will always do what is best for us. It may not seem like it when we're going through really tough circumstances, but he is always with us. If you have given your life to Jesus and you are struggling right now in any area of your life wondering where God is and why he isn't hearing your cries for help, rest assured that he is there. He hears you. If he's chosen not to intervene yet on your behalf, then it must be the most loving thing he could be doing for you to leave you where you are. Only he knows what the next minute, hour, day, or year will bring. Trust that he knows the end from the beginning and he will be with you until the very end. It says in Matthew 28:20 that surely he will be with us, even to the very end of the age. He isn't going anywhere.
Jesus is your biggest fan. He's cheering for you as you run your race, this race called life. He wants you to succeed and he will not fail you. I'm so thankful that he is irrational in his love for me. It seems like every day I could find a reason why God shouldn't love me the way he does, forgive me the way he does, extend his grace the way he does. Yet, I've learned to accept his love. I've learned that he is indeed pleased with me, in spite of all my faults and shortcomings. I know without a doubt that my life is blessed, no matter what each day brings. Even if the whole world turns against me, Jesus is still my biggest fan. I pray that you will come to understand and believe that he is your biggest fan as well. When you are confident in that, you will have peace and courage to live your life for him.
"May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word." - 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17. Until tomorrow then...
Love,
Tracie
Do you watch American Idol? The Voice? Football? Basketball? Do you have favorite musicians, actors or actresses, artists, authors, or athletes? If so, you are probably a fan of someone. I've been watching American Idol this season. I love music and I love seeing young singers, songwriters, and musicians get the chance to live their dream. I love watching some of them who come from very tough childhoods be able to rise above their challenges and just go for it! What these young people get to experience is truly amazing.
It's always interesting to read comments on social media about contestants who were voted off of a particular show, or about an athlete who confessed to using drugs, or an actress who wore the perfect, or not-so-perfect dress on the red carpet. Fans are very fanatical about the people they admire, even to the point of overlooking serious faults and defending that person no matter what they've done. They remain a fan despite the insults and somewhat colored remarks that are being flung at them. They continue to point out the good things about the person they admire. They are sometimes irrational in their devotion. They continue to support the person, whether it be through voting for them to win a contest, sending them financial contributions, buying their merchandise, going to their concerts or sporting events, etc., etc. They are a true fan.
The dictionary doesn't have a definition for the word "fan" in the sense of what I've been talking about. What it does have are words associated with the word "fan." Some of those words are: admirer, enthusiast, devotee, fanatic, follower, groupie, junkie, lover, supporter, rooter, and believer. Wow! No wonder famous people love their fans so much! Who wouldn't want someone who admires you, who is enthusiastic about you, who is devoted to you, who is fanatical about you or what you do, who follows you, who loves you, supports you, roots for you, and believes in you? Sounds great to me! I have good news for anyone who has ever wanted to have a fan. You already have one, and his name is Jesus.
Jesus is, always has been, and always will be my biggest fan. He loved me when my heart was broken, he believed in me when I wanted to quit, he cheers me on on those days when I feel like I just can't take another step. He is fanatical about me. He follows me closely and whispers encouraging words in my ear. He has defended me and brought me justice in the face of false accusations. He has forgiven me and shown good in me when I've done wrong. He is devoted to me. He is the lover of my soul.
Jesus has never let go of me and he will never let go of you. No matter what you've done or are doing wrong, no matter how many times you yell at him and cry out in frustration, no matter how many mistakes you make, how many times you fail, he will always be with you. He will always be for you. If you wander away from him, he will go after you. There is no where you can go to escape his love. That is the good news! However, there is another part to this. When we sin, there are consequences. No matter how much of a fan you are of someone, if they break the law they are going to jail. You can stand outside the jail with signs and picket lines and protest at the top of your lungs, but they are still going to have to do their time. The same goes for us. Some people see God's grace as a "get out of jail free" card. It is not that, but so much more.
Because God is our loving Father, he knows what's best for us. He knows when we need discipline and when we need justice. He knows when we need help and when we need to push through and do something on our own. He knows when to cheer us on and when to close a door so we won't go down the wrong path. Because he loves us and because he is our biggest fan he will always do what is best for us. It may not seem like it when we're going through really tough circumstances, but he is always with us. If you have given your life to Jesus and you are struggling right now in any area of your life wondering where God is and why he isn't hearing your cries for help, rest assured that he is there. He hears you. If he's chosen not to intervene yet on your behalf, then it must be the most loving thing he could be doing for you to leave you where you are. Only he knows what the next minute, hour, day, or year will bring. Trust that he knows the end from the beginning and he will be with you until the very end. It says in Matthew 28:20 that surely he will be with us, even to the very end of the age. He isn't going anywhere.
Jesus is your biggest fan. He's cheering for you as you run your race, this race called life. He wants you to succeed and he will not fail you. I'm so thankful that he is irrational in his love for me. It seems like every day I could find a reason why God shouldn't love me the way he does, forgive me the way he does, extend his grace the way he does. Yet, I've learned to accept his love. I've learned that he is indeed pleased with me, in spite of all my faults and shortcomings. I know without a doubt that my life is blessed, no matter what each day brings. Even if the whole world turns against me, Jesus is still my biggest fan. I pray that you will come to understand and believe that he is your biggest fan as well. When you are confident in that, you will have peace and courage to live your life for him.
"May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word." - 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17. Until tomorrow then...
Love,
Tracie
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Day 11: Stolen Pillows
I woke up this morning and headed downstairs to begin my daily routine. I start by opening the blinds on my front door before moving on to the living room blinds. I sleepily opened the blinds on my front door, started to walk away, and then did a double-take. The pillows on my patio bench were gone. I asked the girls if they had moved them when they were playing outside yesterday evening and they said, "No." I asked Josh if he had moved them and he said, "No." They were stolen.
This is the first time we've ever had anything stolen since we moved into this house over four years ago. We live in what is considered to be a safe neighborhood. Everyone looks out for each others' children and homes. We have amazing neighbors. So, I was really surprised this happened. I was also mad. I realize they were only outdoor pillows. It's not the pillows that matter to me, although I did like them and really didn't want to have to replace them. What matters is that someone was right outside our front door last night as we slept and we had no idea they were there, stealing from us. Our dog didn't even bark. Not that he would, anyway. He immediately loves everyone he comes in contact with. Even though it was something of trivial value that was taken, I still feel violated.
I hate that feeling. It's unsettling. It makes you begin to ask questions about who could have done it, and why? Why right now? Why us? We have enough on our plate as it is. I would like to have a "Pollyanna" attitude about it and think that it was a homeless person who really needed a pillow to lie their head on at night. But, it was most likely some punk kids who thought it would be funny. Well, it's not funny to me. Nothing else on our porch was taken. It makes no sense. I'm grateful they only took the pillows and didn't try to break into our home. We pray protection over our home every night before we go to sleep. We trust that God will keep intruders outside our doors. We go to sleep in peace and I'm determined that this incident will not threaten the peace in our hearts about feeling safe at home. God knows who took our pillows. I'll trust Him to deal with them.
The scripture that immediately came to mind when I saw my missing pillows was John 10:10 where Jesus says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." I like the New Living Translation, too. "The thief's purpose it to kill and steal and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life."
As I mentioned before, it's not about the pillows. Satan has tried to steal, kill, and destroy so much lately, that it just magnified the sense of loss and frustration I've already been feeling. I mean, can I be honest and raw with you again? Is that ok? Our enemy knows our weaknesses. He doesn't know our future, but he knows our past. He knows the things we've already endured, so he knows exactly where to point his arrow and make his mark, with the intent to take us out. The good news is, Jesus protects, heals, and restores.
We must be prepared each day. We must not grow complacent when things are going well, and forget that we have an active enemy waiting in the wings. I'm not saying Satan stole my pillows. But he does use people to act in certain ways to hit us where it hurts. We are not to live in fear of him, but we must be aware of him. In Ephesians 6:10-17, Jesus tells us what to do and how to put on the Armor of God daily:
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
I didn't wake up this morning wondering if anything would be missing from my front porch. But, because my trust is in God, it didn't ruin my day and it didn't make me fearful. Annoyed, yes. Who wouldn't be? But, I am not afraid of the enemy. Know why? Because Jesus says he's under my feet. Jesus said in John 16:33 that in this world we will have trouble, but to take heart because He has already overcome the world. The day is coming when Satan will get what he deserves. Until that day, let's arm ourselves with the full armor of God and fight. Jesus walks before us, beside us, and behind us. We have nothing to fear. Until tomorrow then...
Love,
Tracie
This is the first time we've ever had anything stolen since we moved into this house over four years ago. We live in what is considered to be a safe neighborhood. Everyone looks out for each others' children and homes. We have amazing neighbors. So, I was really surprised this happened. I was also mad. I realize they were only outdoor pillows. It's not the pillows that matter to me, although I did like them and really didn't want to have to replace them. What matters is that someone was right outside our front door last night as we slept and we had no idea they were there, stealing from us. Our dog didn't even bark. Not that he would, anyway. He immediately loves everyone he comes in contact with. Even though it was something of trivial value that was taken, I still feel violated.
I hate that feeling. It's unsettling. It makes you begin to ask questions about who could have done it, and why? Why right now? Why us? We have enough on our plate as it is. I would like to have a "Pollyanna" attitude about it and think that it was a homeless person who really needed a pillow to lie their head on at night. But, it was most likely some punk kids who thought it would be funny. Well, it's not funny to me. Nothing else on our porch was taken. It makes no sense. I'm grateful they only took the pillows and didn't try to break into our home. We pray protection over our home every night before we go to sleep. We trust that God will keep intruders outside our doors. We go to sleep in peace and I'm determined that this incident will not threaten the peace in our hearts about feeling safe at home. God knows who took our pillows. I'll trust Him to deal with them.
The scripture that immediately came to mind when I saw my missing pillows was John 10:10 where Jesus says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." I like the New Living Translation, too. "The thief's purpose it to kill and steal and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life."
As I mentioned before, it's not about the pillows. Satan has tried to steal, kill, and destroy so much lately, that it just magnified the sense of loss and frustration I've already been feeling. I mean, can I be honest and raw with you again? Is that ok? Our enemy knows our weaknesses. He doesn't know our future, but he knows our past. He knows the things we've already endured, so he knows exactly where to point his arrow and make his mark, with the intent to take us out. The good news is, Jesus protects, heals, and restores.
We must be prepared each day. We must not grow complacent when things are going well, and forget that we have an active enemy waiting in the wings. I'm not saying Satan stole my pillows. But he does use people to act in certain ways to hit us where it hurts. We are not to live in fear of him, but we must be aware of him. In Ephesians 6:10-17, Jesus tells us what to do and how to put on the Armor of God daily:
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
I didn't wake up this morning wondering if anything would be missing from my front porch. But, because my trust is in God, it didn't ruin my day and it didn't make me fearful. Annoyed, yes. Who wouldn't be? But, I am not afraid of the enemy. Know why? Because Jesus says he's under my feet. Jesus said in John 16:33 that in this world we will have trouble, but to take heart because He has already overcome the world. The day is coming when Satan will get what he deserves. Until that day, let's arm ourselves with the full armor of God and fight. Jesus walks before us, beside us, and behind us. We have nothing to fear. Until tomorrow then...
Love,
Tracie
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