(As featured in the October Issue of Surrender Magazine.)
Love. I was asked to say in my own words what that word means to me. Love has many meanings to me because it must be applied to every situation in my life. I think the best way for me to explain what love means to me is to break it down a little bit. So, here goes.
In my marriage, Love means sacrifice. It means laying aside my own desires, sometimes for a short time, sometimes permanently, for the benefit of our relationship. It means putting my husband's needs above my own. It means submitting to him, according to the Word of God. It means voicing my own opinions, wants, needs, and desires in a way that gives me the freedom of expression without placing burdens on my spouse. It means thinking before I speak. It means finding ways to build up and encourage my husband, especially when he's had a rough day at work and needs positive affirmation. Love is affirming each others strengths and minimizing each others weaknesses. Love is fun in marriage! Love means physical intimacy the way God intended it. Love means partnership, equal sacrifice. Love means standing in the gap for my spouse when I know he's struggling with something. Love means praying for him daily. Not for God to change him, but for how God can change me to be the mate God called me to be for him and him alone. Sometimes Love hurts. Sometimes truth needs to be spoken in Love, but it's not always easy. Ultimately, in my marriage, Love means forgiveness, loyalty, commitment, friendship, partnership, and rock solid trust. Many storms have come against my marriage. I thought some of them were going to take us out at times. But, Love and our relationships first and foremost with our Savior, Jesus Christ, have helped us to navigate and weather the storms together, and we are stronger now than we were when we first started on this journey. Love is truly, "Till death do us part."
In parenting my children, Love also means sacrifice. Even more than in my marriage I think. I have two daughters, ages nine and six. When I looked into the eyes of my newborn babies, a love that had already begun to grow with each month they were in my womb, blossomed into full blown crazy love the second they were in my arms. I never knew I could love another person so much. With my children, Love means protection. I would give my life for them. Love means to feel pain. I hurt when they hurt. I want to take away all of their suffering and carry it for them. It also means pain because at times, my children hurt my feelings. Love means forgiveness. Love means training and discipline, even if they resist it. Love is teaching them how to love. Love is respect. Love is listening. Love is providing for them. Not just in the way of material things, but more importantly, spiritual and emotional support. A shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen to their hearts. Love is discernment. Love is listening to my "mommy gut" and not ignoring the whispers of the Holy Spirit. He loves my children more than I do. I am so grateful that I have Him to guide me as I do my best to raise godly girls. Love is affection. Hugs, kisses, tickle fights, knuckle rubs to their heads, etc. Love is spending time with them. Painting their nails, braiding their hair, coloring 1,000 pictures, cooking meals and treats with them. Love is commitment. Commitment to never give up, even on the hardest days. Even when they are standing in front of me, arms crossed, glaring faces, in total defiance. Love must be at the center. Love is what keeps me grounded. Love is what makes all the hard moments bearable, and the wonderful moments more wonderful than I could ever have imagined.
In my relationships with my extended family, Love means strength and honor. I gain strength and wisdom from my parents, sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and in-laws near and far. Mostly far. I honor my parents and grandparents and their examples of love that never fails. It was never in my plan to raise my kids away from all of our extended family members. This has been very hard for me because I love my family so much. We are very close, and I have never taken that for granted. Right now, God has brought us to the place we are living now and he is blessing us greatly. I trust that He knows what he's doing, and that he will help me manage my homesickness. Love means staying in communication across the miles. Love means praying for my family before bed at night, and throughout the day. Love means compassion. Love means encouragement. Love means picking up right where we left off, no matter how many years pass by in between. Sometimes in my family, Love hurts. Sometimes, as in my marriage, the truth has to be spoken in Love. Sometimes Love means taking a little break from a certain family member to clear our heads and pray about how to resolve a conflict. Love means forgiveness. In my family, Love has always been at the center. Love has gotten us through trials we thought would indeed break us apart. And yet, we are also stronger in the end because of our faith in Jesus Christ. He is our example. He is Love.
Finally, in my relationships with my friends and people I'm getting to know, Love means serving. Love means being the kind of friend that I want to have. Love means a quick text to let them know I'm thinking about them. It means praying for them and the situations they're facing. It means bringing a meal when one of them is sick, or showing up on their doorstep just to give them a hug. It means taking the time to sit on my couch and let them cry on my shoulder. It means being there for them to just listen, and if they want to talk, then to talk with them. It means sharing with them my faith in Jesus. It means fun and laughter. Love means making time for them, even in the craziness of life's schedules and demands. Love means feeding my friends. (Most of my friends will tell you that I usually don't let them leave my house without trying to feed them something.) Love means trust. Love means discernment. Love means blessing my friends and not expecting anything in return. Love means, "I'm sorry" when you know you've messed up. Love means forgiveness.
Now that I have told you in my own words what love means to me, I must tell you this. I have failed over and over again at loving the people in my world the way I just described. I have failed more times than I can count. However, I love people deeply. If I mess up, I try to make it right as quickly as possible. I can't stand conflict or confrontation, but I've learned how to deal with both of those things better. I love this verse... 1 Peter 4:8 says, "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." Love covers... I love that. It covers wounds with soothing ointment. It covers cold, tired heart muscles like a warm blanket. Romans 12:10 says, "Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." My goal is to devote myself to loving and honoring the people in my world above myself. To love Jesus with all my heart and let him mold me into the wife, mother, daughter, grand-daughter, niece, cousin, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, and friend that HE wants me to be. I will leave you with this final verse. 1 Corinthians 13:13 ~ "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
