Friday, April 19, 2013

My Biggest Fan

(Featured in the April Issue of Surrender Magazine.)

Do you watch American Idol?  The Voice?  Football?  Basketball?  Do you have favorite musicians, actors or actresses, artists, authors, or athletes?  If so, you are probably a fan of someone.  I've been watching American Idol this season.  I love music and I love seeing young singers, songwriters, and musicians get the chance to live their dream.  I love watching some of them who come from very tough childhoods be able to rise above their challenges and just go for it!  What these young people get to experience is truly amazing. 

It's always interesting to read comments on social media about contestants who were voted off of a particular show, or about an athlete who confessed to using drugs, or an actress who wore the perfect, or not-so-perfect dress on the red carpet.  Fans are very fanatical about the people they admire, even to the point of overlooking serious faults and defending that person no matter what they've done.  They remain a fan despite the insults and somewhat colored remarks that are being flung at them.  They continue to point out the good things about the person they admire.  They are sometimes irrational in their devotion.  They continue to support the person, whether it be through voting for them to win a contest, sending them financial contributions, buying their merchandise, going to their concerts or sporting events, etc., etc.  They are a true fan.

The dictionary doesn't have a definition for the word "fan" in the sense of what I've been talking about.  What it does have are words associated with the word "fan."  Some of those words are: admirer, enthusiast, devotee, fanatic, follower, groupie, junkie, lover, supporter, rooter, and believer.  Wow!  No wonder famous people love their fans so much!  Who wouldn't want someone who admires you, who is enthusiastic about you, who is devoted to you, who is fanatical about you or what you do, who follows you, who loves you, supports you, roots for you, and believes in you?  Sounds great to me!  I have good news for anyone who has ever wanted to have a fan.  You already have one, and his name is Jesus. 

Jesus is, always has been, and always will be my biggest fan.  He loved me when my heart was broken, he believed in me when I wanted to quit, he cheers me on on those days when I feel like I just can't take another step.  He is fanatical about me.  He follows me closely and whispers encouraging words in my ear.  He has defended me and brought me justice in the face of false accusations.  He has forgiven me and shown good in me when I've done wrong.  He is devoted to me.  He is the lover of my soul.

Jesus has never let go of me and he will never let go of you.  No matter what you've done or are doing wrong, no matter how many times you yell at him and cry out in frustration, no matter how many mistakes you make, how many times you fail, he will always be with you.  He will always be for you.  If you wander away from him, he will go after you.  There is no where you can go to escape his love.  That is the good news!  However, there is another part to this.  When we sin, there are consequences.  No matter how much of a fan you are of someone, if they break the law they are going to jail.  You can stand outside the jail with signs and picket lines and protest at the top of your lungs, but they are still going to have to do their time.  The same goes for us.  Some people see God's grace as a "get out of jail free" card.  It is not that, but so much more. 

Because God is our loving Father, he knows what's best for us.  He knows when we need discipline and when we need justice.  He knows when we need help and when we need to push through and do something on our own.  He knows when to cheer us on and when to close a door so we won't go down the wrong path.  Because he loves us and because he is our biggest fan he will always do what is best for us.  It may not seem like it when we're going through really tough circumstances, but he is always with us.  If you have given your life to Jesus and you are struggling right now in any area of your life wondering where God is and why he isn't hearing your cries for help, rest assured that he is there.  He hears you.  If he's chosen not to intervene yet on your behalf, then it must be the most loving thing he could be doing for you to leave you where you are.  Only he knows what the next minute, hour, day, or year will bring.  Trust that he knows the end from the beginning and he will be with you until the very end.  It says in Matthew 28:20 that surely he will be with us, even to the very end of the age.  He isn't going anywhere.

Jesus is your biggest fan.  He's cheering for you as you run your race, this race called life.  He wants you to succeed and he will not fail you.  I'm so thankful that he is irrational in his love for me.  It seems like every day I could find a reason why God shouldn't love me the way he does, forgive me the way he does, extend his grace the way he does.  Yet, I've learned to accept his love.  I've learned that he is indeed pleased with me, in spite of all my faults and shortcomings.  I know without a doubt that my life is blessed, no matter what each day brings.  Even if the whole world turns against me, Jesus is still my biggest fan.  I pray that you will come to understand and believe that he is your biggest fan as well.  When you are confident in that, you will have peace and courage to live your life for him.

"May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word." - 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

Friday, April 12, 2013

Promises

"Remember your word to your servant,
    for you have given me hope.
My comfort in my suffering is this:
    Your promise preserves my life."
~ Psalm 119:49-50
 
God's promises are true.  God cannot lie.  His Word is Truth.  When he said in His Word that he loves us, that he is with us, that he is pleased with us, that he is jealous for us...he meant it.  There are many things that can cause us to doubt what God says about us.  Some of those things are people, the devil, suffering in our bodies, financial hardships, natural disasters, car accidents, etc.  When negative things happen to us or to someone we love, how do we react?  For me, I tend to freak out first and come to my senses later.  Sometimes that happens quickly, other times it doesn't. 
 
For as long as I can remember, I've been a worrier.  I admit it.  I know what I'm supposed to do.  I know what the Bible says about worrying yet, I struggle with it.  Here's a "duh" statement...God knows this about me.  He already knows that I'm weak in this area, so he sends me things to help me.  He lets me know without a doubt that he is with me.  He gives me peace in my soul when my physical body is screaming in pain.  He nudges a friend to text me an encouraging word, or surprise me with flowers.  As the Psalm above says, his promise literally has preserved my life.
 
There were some dark days in my life where I was not in a good place, mentally and emotionally, because of unrelenting physical pain.  What got me through those days were the quiet whispers in my heart from the Holy Spirit.  He told me over and over again what his promises were and are for my life.  He gave me scriptures that spoke straight into my heart and encouraged me.
 
"I waited patiently for the Lord;
    he turned to me and heard my cry.
 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
    out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
    and gave me a firm place to stand."
~ Psalm 40:1-2
 
There have been many times when I've felt like I was in a slimy pit, left to be devoured by pain and torment.  God was with me then and he is with me now.  He indeed lifted me out of the slimy pit and set me back on solid ground.  He hasn't completely healed my body, but I'm no longer in a pit of despair. 
 
This has been a rough week for me, pain wise.  I really don't like to focus on this subject, but if I can't be honest about this being part of my life right now then what good will that do?  When people would ask me how I was doing, I used to lie and say, "I'm fine."  I had to stop doing that because I knew it wasn't the truth.  I had friends get very upset with me and say, "Stop telling me what you think I want to hear and just tell me how you're really doing!"  So, I did.  Some of those friends are still around, and some aren't.  That was really hard for me.  I've come to realize now that what one friendship can endure, another one just can't.  And that's OK. 
 
God has brought some incredible people into my life and I thank him for them every day.  He promised me that I would have great friends, and I do.  He promised me that he would bring me a husband who would be loyal to me and be my biggest support, and he did.  He promised me that I would never again be back in that pit of despair, and I'm not.  Even though the pain I'm in at times feels as though it's going to crush me, his promise to me is this:
 
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."
~ 2 Corinthians 4:7-9
 
His promise is that I WILL survive this!  I may be hard pressed on every side, but I will not be crushed.  I may not understand the reason why I'm continuing to suffer in my body, but I will not despair.  I may be persecuted or made fun of for being in my wheelchair at times, but I will not be abandoned.  I don't have to do this life alone.  I may be struck down over and over again, but he promises I will not be destroyed.  Every breath we take comes from God.  We are the jars of clay.  God is the potter.  Whatever means he uses to mold and shape me with, I know he is using every single ounce for my benefit and His glory.  He is my Creator, therefore I trust him 100% and I believe that he WILL finish this good work that he has started.
 
I don't know what you are dealing with today, but I hope you will be encouraged that God's promises are true for you.  He loves you.  As always, I am praying for you, whoever you are. 
 
Much Love,
 
Tracie


Thursday, April 4, 2013

Whatever It Takes

(Written on 2/21/13 for the March Issue of Surrender Magazine)

I prayed a prayer a few weeks ago.  It was a simple prayer, but the results of that prayer have been anything but simple.  When you pray a prayer from your heart you better be prepared for an answer, and maybe not the answer you are looking for.  My prayer was this, "God, I want to be healed.  Do whatever it takes to keep me close to you; whatever it takes so that I can accomplish what you've called me to do."  Simple, right?  When I prayed that prayer, I really meant it.  I gave God permission to allow me to experience whatever was necessary to keep me close to him and teach me what I need to know to be effective for him.

I don't know about you, but when life is going well, when things are "easy", when I'm in a groove, when there's no drama, when my body feels great, etc., I get busy and I lose some of my closeness with Jesus.  I don't lose my relationship with him, but I'm not as "tuned in" to hear his voice the way I am when things are a little bit tougher in life.  I don't read as much of His Word as I do during the tougher seasons.  There is nothing wrong with having a full and wonderful life.  It's what God desires for us.  Abundant life is what he desires us to have.  But that abundant life is only truly abundant if we are in constant communication with Jesus.  I need a miracle right now in a couple different areas of life.  I need clear direction from God on some things.  I can't afford to get so busy that I can't hear his voice.  I'm willing to do what it takes to position myself for a miracle.

Even though I did not ask God to keep me in pain, or add more pain, I'm still experiencing it.  But, I'm not upset.  I know myself.  I know how easily I can get distracted.  I know there are many things I still need to learn from God in order to accomplish the things he's purposed for my life.  Most of all, I know God knows me better than I know myself, and I know he loves me.  He knows exactly what I need to go through to continue to be built into the woman he's calling me to be.  He also knows what I need to walk through so that I can be a blessing to others.  He knows I want to help people and only he knows the people I'm going to help, and how.  He knows what they need, so I'm trusting him to teach me what I need to know in order to be a blessing to them.

I want to pray like Jesus prayed. "Lord, not my will but yours be done."  The night that Jesus was betrayed and arrested, he was in the Garden of Gethsemane praying.  He prayed, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." - Luke 22:42  Jesus knew what was before him.  He wasn't trying to get out of his mission of going to the cross to be sacrificed for you and me.  He was being very real and honest with his Father, God.  He didn't do anything wrong by expressing his true feelings to God.  It's not wrong for us to do that either.  Jesus exposed his dread of what was coming, but he also reaffirmed his commitment to do what God wanted.  I have no idea what's coming, or how long this pain will continue.  God knows I don't want this terrible pain anymore, but he also knows that I am committed to doing whatever it is he wants me to do and whatever it takes to get there.  I want to walk in his will at all times.

I was very ill for a couple years, up until a few months ago.  During that time, I felt about as effective for Christ as a rock laying in the dirt.  I went from being an active volunteer in several areas of church life to lying on my couch or in my bed just praying for God to come back and take me out of my misery.  I couldn't even get to church a lot of the time.  I have realized now that even though I wasn't "out in the field" in a literal sense, I was very much "in the field" in my prayer life, in my blog, in taking care of my kids as best I could, in sending notes to friends that I knew were hurting, in long conversations with friends on my couch about things they were struggling with... I didn't disappear in the way I thought I had, and I wasn't as ineffective as I thought I was.

Maybe you're going through something similar.  Maybe you feel like you aren't where you should be, or where you want to be.  Maybe circumstances are out of your control and you feel completely ineffective for Christ right now.  The truth is, you can do whatever it takes with where you're at.  God only asks that we do the best with what we have and trust Him for the rest.  I wasn't prepared for the "whatever it takes" results.  But, at the same time, I have a joy and a deep peace inside that God heard my prayer and he's answering that prayer in the best way possible.  Even if that means more suffering.  Do I still pray each day that God will deliver me from these painful challenges?  Yes!  Of course!  I'm still honest with him about how difficult it is and how I struggle through the day at times.  But along with that, I thank him for my life and what he's taught me, and what he's teaching me through this.  My test is my testimony, and yours will be too.