God's grace amazes me. There are times when my attitude towards life and all its challenges is, let's just honestly say, sucky. Yet, the God who created the entire universe and everything in it and beyond it loves me enough to still whisper in my ear, "I love you." I am thankful beyond words every day that he knows my heart and knows me better than I know myself. He sees past all of my "boo hoo" moments to the person that he knows I am, and the person he knows I want to be and will be.
We can get so down on ourselves sometimes. We sit and ponder all the mistakes we've made, or are currently making. We focus on the things we can't do. We beat ourselves up because another day went by and we didn't do anything on our to-do list. We feel inadequate and worthless at times. Well, at least I do. Can I just say that this kind of thinking will lead us NOWHERE! All it does is drag us down, sometimes leading to depression and other issues. We are not perfect and we never will be. All we can do is listen for the voice of God and do what He says. "But he isn't speaking to me!" You may say. Well, are you really listening? Are you in prayer on a daily basis? The kind of prayer where you aren't the one doing all the talking? I am guilty of the "list" prayer sessions. I give God my list of things I need or want him to do for me and then say thank you and I'm off and running with the rest of my day. I must say, the desire to just sit in His presence and say nothing at all has been very strong lately. I'm tired of talking. I'm ready for listening.
Along with listening comes waiting. Hmmm....waiting. Not my favorite thing. One of my least favorite things, actually. I feel like I've been waiting for a lot of things for a very long time and I'm still waiting. Yet, as frustrating as it is to wait, there can be great peace in place of frustration. Being frustrated with the timing of things is not doing me any good. God's timing is not my timing. I know this...but can I handle it? I'm trying. Really trying.
Has God ever given you a dream or a vision? He's given me several. It's very exciting when you have the dream or vision, but after a while, you may begin to lose your enthusiasm. Especially, if the dream or vision was years and years ago and you have yet to see even a glimpse of it coming to pass. I've learned that God works in "suddenly!" moments. I know that the dreams and visions he's given me were truly from him. Therefore, I know that they will come to pass. The hard part is to keep your hope and faith alive while you are in the waiting process. Know why? Because the waiting process is preparing you for the "suddenly!" Only God knows when we are ready to receive the full blessing of the dream or vision he's given us.
Faith means resting in what Jesus has done for us in the past, but it also means trusting him for what he will do for us in the present and in the future. To wait means to stay, serve, or attend to; to patiently anticipate. Notice how this definition contradicts itself? Sometimes waiting means to stay where you are. Sometimes it means to move forward in serving; maybe at church, or serving your neighbor, serving at work, etc. The main thing I want to point out in the definition is the word "patiently." Waiting does not mean striving, freaking out, worrying, or being frustrated. Waiting is moving forward with life, obeying God, and not worrying about when your "suddenly!" will happen. That's why it's called a "suddenly!" It doesn't come when you expect it. In fact, when God answers my prayers, it's usually when I least expect it, in a way that I definitely didn't expect it. And, it's always better than I could have ever hoped for on my own.
You see, we are all connected. Our "suddenly's!" don't just affect us. Sometimes God uses many other people to get you to your fulfilled dream. Sometimes he may only use a couple people. But, He always has a bigger purpose in mind for blessing us. He blesses us so that we can, in turn, bless others. He also uses the frustrating moments that come with waiting to teach us, and others, more about trusting him completely. People are watching the way you handle your waiting period. You may not think so, but they are. I am trying to do my very best each day to be a good example of someone who is in "waiting." I'm not just waiting for dreams and visions to be realized, but I'm waiting for a miracle in my body. I've been waiting for almost seventeen years. I will keep waiting until the day I die, knowing that I will one day see this miracle. Whether it be in this life or the next, I will see it. I know this because I know God is faithful.
I will leave you with a few scriptures and I pray that if you are going through a waiting period right now, that God will grant you peace as you wait. I know his grace will be sufficient for you every moment of every day, whether you think you deserve it or not. None of us deserve the grace of God. Yet, he freely gives it to us every day. His mercies are new every morning. That should give us the hope we need to make it through our waiting periods. And pretty soon, before you know it, your "suddenly!" will happen. You'll be able to look back over your waiting period and see that God was with you for every part of it. Just remember to wait patiently. :)
Psalm 40:1-3 ~ "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me up out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God."
Psalm 130:5 ~ "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope."
Isaiah 30:18 ~ "Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!"
