I want to thank all of you who have been praying for my health over the past year. It has meant a lot to me to know that I'm not alone in this journey. I have received a partial answer as to what is going on with the vertigo. In my last post, I described the testing procedures that were done to evaluate my inner ear. What the tests show is that I have something called Recurrent Vestibulopathy. It's similar to Ménière's Disease. Basically, I'm retaining fluid in the vestibular nerve in my left ear. Any time I get a cold or allergy symptoms, fluid builds back up in my inner ear and the vertigo never really goes away. It definitely explains why the vertigo started when it did and why it has been persistent for months. I have a couple treatment options and at this point I believe I am going to follow through with them. I'm praying for no side effects from the medication I'm supposed to take, and I also need to get a steroid shot in my ear. I'm not looking forward to it, but the Dr. tells me that it will shrink the inflammation and dry up the fluid, and that the vertigo should disappear. So, it will be worth it. I'm still waiting on the final report from the Dr. before I start the treatment because there may be another cause of the vertigo. My Dr. wants to wait until he has the final report from the audiologist because it seems that there is more to this than just the fluid issue. So, more waiting...my favorite. :)
I must admit, when I got the report I wasn't thrilled. I got an answer, but I didn't like the answer. I went on an emotional roller coaster for a day or so. First, I was thankful to hear that there is an end in sight for this dizziness. But then, when I realized that it's going to require more sacrifices, I started to feel a little down. The bottom line is that I am going to be fine. I don't have a life-threatening illness and I'm thankful for that. Having to change my lifestyle a bit isn't anything new...I've been doing that already. So why am I feeling down? I'm human I guess. I want to be "normal." There are many things I wish I could do, but I can't. So...I have two choices. I can keep feeling down and upset and not enjoy all the things I can do. Or, I can suck it up and just roll with it. I think I'll pick the second option.
Life is not always going to give us the answers we want to hear. It's up to us to decide what we are going to do with the information that's been given to us. "The hand we've been dealt" so to speak. There are many other people in my world and in our world right now that have far more difficult issues they are dealing with. My focus is going to be on praying for them and helping them in whatever way I can. It's amazing how much smaller our problems seem when we look at the bigger picture. That's not to say that our problems aren't real, or that they don't impact our lives greatly. But, having an attitude of gratitude is what's going to get me through each day I walk with pain. It's what will get us all through our difficult days. God never promised us that we would be free from sacrifice and suffering. What he promises is that he will be with us in the midst of it.
God is with me today, He will be with me tomorrow, and every day after that. That's all I need to know. I've said this before, but I will say it again. If I just keep breathing, I'll live to see a better moment, a better day, a better year. All I have to do is just keep breathing and trust God. (Very good advice given to me by my awesome Dad.) He started a good work in me and he will be faithful to complete it. I just have to let him do the work.
I will keep you posted as I get more answers. In the meantime, be on the lookout for my post that will say "I'm Healed!" 'Cuz I am. :)
