Several weeks ago, my Mom shared a couple of quotes with me from a conference she was attending that day. I've been thinking about them ever since and wanted to share them with you.
"If you always think the way you've always thought, then you will always get what you have always got."
"If you want something you've never had, then you have to do something that you've never done."
The first quote has been on my mind the most. I've been doing a lot of thinking about my thinking. I've realized some things and have been convicted this week about my thought life. It's not that I'm thinking all sorts of evil thoughts or anything like that. It's the thoughts about my circumstances, my health, my parenting abilities, my ability to be a good wife, etc. The thoughts are more like fears and doubts and things from my past that are keeping me in my past. If I keep thinking this way then how can I expect my circumstances, my health, my parenting, my marriage, or any other area of my life to be any different than how they already are? If I want things to change then I have to change my thinking.
I've mentioned this subject in previous posts, but not to the full extent that I've wanted to talk about. Our minds are so very powerful. Our thoughts really do matter. You could be having a really bad day, but be totally calm and peaceful in your mind. The opposite is also true. You could be having a seemingly good day without many problems, but your mind can be a tangled and dark mess. I've had both kinds of days. Then there are days when my thoughts completely take over and can even change what started out as a great day into a horrible day, just because of my thoughts! Our words are powerful. Not just what we say to others, but what we say to ourselves. We can be just as destructive to our own life with the the wrong words we speak to ourselves as we can with words we speak to others...sometimes even more so. I know that there have been days where I've completely sabotaged myself with negative thoughts. Sometimes it begins with a comment from my husband, or something I read on Facebook. It's usually something small and really not a big deal, but then my mind takes over and before I know it I'm in a horrible mood that nothing can shake me out of. Aside from ruining my own day, I've then ruined my family's day as well. You know the saying, "If mama ain't happy, no body's happy!"? Well, it's really true. I'm amazed at how my attitude affects my entire household. And I've been convicted.
Conviction bites. It's not fun. However, it's necessary for growth and positive change. What we have to do is get past the feelings of guilt, shame, anger, rebellion, or whatever it is that we feel when we're convicted, so that we can move on to forgiving ourselves and move towards changing for the better. I don't know about you, but when I get convicted, I get angry before I get repentant. Not angry at the Holy Spirit for convicting me, no, because He loves me and that's why he brings gentle correction. I get angry with myself for how stupid I've been in letting certain behaviors continue; some for many years. So, it usually takes me a little while to process that anger towards myself and then I fall on my knees and ask God to forgive me and then help me to change. There have been two issues this week that I have been majorly convicted of. I won't share them with you because they are very personal to me, but they are big issues that have greatly impacted my life and the life of my family I'm sure. I got very angry at myself for being so blind and not recognizing the fact that I'd been letting the enemy rob me for so long. But, you want to know the good news? There is redemption!
Job 5:17-18 says, “Blessed is the one whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal." In the context of this passage of scripture, Job's friend was right in saying what he said, but his advice didn't apply to Job's situation. Job wasn't suffering because of some major sin in his life and I don't believe I'm suffering because of some major sin in my life either. But, I do think I've suffered some things for lack of conviction in my life. God allows things to happen to us for reasons that are usually unknown to us, and sometimes we need to have these "Aha!" moments of conviction to turn us around and get back on the right track. In my case, these particular convictions felt like a slap in the face when the light bulb went on. It hurt. But pain can help us grow. My eyes were suddenly opened to things that I would think I'd have gotten a clue about long before I actually got a clue. But, we are just "sheep" after all, right? :) God wants us to look inward, not outward. Our inward will always affect our outward.
Proverbs 10:17 says, "He who heeds discipline shows the way to life, but whoever ignores correction leads others astray." The Message says, "The road to life is a disciplined life; ignore correction and you're lost for good." The Amplified Bible says, "He who heeds instruction and correction is [not only himself] in the way of life [but also] is a way of life for others. And he who neglects or refuses reproof [not only himself] goes astray [but also] causes to err and is a path toward ruin for others." Yikes! Maybe that's why the conviction hit me so hard. I realized that by my not being disciplined in my thoughts, it led to actions that caused people close to me to have issues as well. I think that was the worst part of all. Not that I was hurting, but that in my hurting, I had hurt others. I think that's when you know for sure that you are repentant. When your focus shifts from the "Poor me, I'm a victim..." thinking to thinking of how that attitude hurt someone very dear to you. And then from there, your thinking immediately goes to, "OK, how can I fix this? How can I make it right again? Dear God, please help me make this right again." Then He does. God responds to a repentant heart. He redeems.
It is very important to respond immediately to correction from the Holy Spirit. Proverbs 12:1 pretty much says it all. "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid." If we want knowledge and understanding about why certain areas of our lives aren't going as well as we would like them to be, then we should ask God for knowledge. If in asking for knowledge, he answers with correction, then we best heed that correction. It would be stupid not to! The Lord disciplines those he loves. Proverbs 13:18 says, "Whoever disregards discipline comes to poverty and shame, but whoever heeds correction is honored." God will honor your willingness to be corrected and then help you achieve the change necessary to turn your situation around. Proverbs 15:5 says, "A fool spurns a parent’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence." It's the same way we as parents discipline our children. We discipline them because we love them. When they heed our correction, they are rewarded for honoring their parents. When they rebel, then it brings further or even harsher correction. I certainly do not want any more correction than is necessary. So, I chose not to rebel against God when I got the "face slap" a couple days ago. Instead, I allowed myself to be angry and sad for a little bit, and then immediately forgave myself and turned to God for the next step...redemption.
"For the time being no discipline brings joy, but seems grievous and painful; but afterwards it yields a peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it [a harvest of fruit which consists in righteousness--in conformity to God's will in purpose, thought, and action, resulting in right living and right standing with God]." ~ Hebrews 12:11 (The Amplified Bible)
God loves me so much that he will continue to discipline me and mold me into a person who will be effective. A person who will encourage others and not tear them down. A person who will bring glory to Him in all areas of my life. A person who will be a wife and a mother worthy of honor from her husband and children. A person after God's own heart. Conviction bites. But, it's a good thing. A very good thing indeed.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Time
It's almost the end of another school year. My oldest will be in 2nd grade next year and I can hardly believe it. At least my baby still has one more year of preschool before I have to send her off on the "big yellow bus." She so badly wants to get on that bus to go to school with her sister. I keep telling her, "Only one more summer, then one more school year, then one more summer, and then you'll be on that bus!" It's amazing how you measure "time" once you have kids.
I've been thinking about time a lot lately. How fast it seems to go at times and how painfully slow it seems to go at other times. The truth is, time is exactly the same, day in and day out. It never changes. While we're on earth, there will always be 60 seconds in a minute and 60 minutes in an hour. There will be day and night every day. Time won't stop because we want it to, and we can't speed up time either. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's ever wanted to change time.
I remember when my oldest daughter was a toddler and my youngest was an infant. How long the days seemed. Someone said to me during that time, "The days seem to go on forever, but the years will fly by." I used to think, "Yeah, right. These are the slowest years of my life." You know what, that person was right. I look back now on all the sleepless nights and all the spit-up I wore on my clothes and had to clean off of everything, all the feedings that seemed to take hours, all the toys scattered everywhere because I had no energy to put them away, the piles and piles of laundry, the long afternoons when the girls were bored and needing to be entertained and all I wanted to do was take a nap, the days of teething that seemed to last forever...
Even though it seemed like forever at the time, I'm sitting here now thinking, "Where did all the time go?" I can hold intelligent conversations with both of my girls. They are so smart. They are good learners, awesome artists, and say more words in one day than I could ever have imagined. My little Sarah still loves to snuggle with me and I'm so glad. She can make her body curl up into a tiny ball on my lap and I love, love, love it. My Hailey will still snuggle with me a little, but she'd rather be off doing something else, which is totally natural for her age. I still can't believe she will be seven years old next week.
Time really seemed to speed up once she started school. Maybe because we had a set routine that we had to do every day. Kids are really good at wanting to speed up time. Especially when they have something that they're really looking forward to, like a birthday party or a trip to Disneyland. My husband and I learned early on not to mention any major events or trips until very soon before the actual event at the risk of being "whined" to death by the girls. Or asked for the millionth time, "When do we get to go? Why can't we go NOW?" If you're a parent, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
Thinking back to when Hailey was born, I remember wanting time to go faster. I couldn't wait for her to sit up on her own, then crawl, then pull herself up to stand, and then to walk. And boy did she make me wait. She didn't sit up on her own until 8 months, she crawled at 11 months, pulled herself up at 13 months and walked on her 16 month birthday. I was freaking out! I was convinced that she had a disability even though the doctor assured me that she was totally fine. And she is! She just liked to do everything in her own time, and she's the same way today.
Isn't it funny how when the second baby comes along, suddenly you don't want to hurry time as much? At least that was how it was for me when Sarah was born. I knew she was going to be my last child and so I wanted to slow down time every day. I remember midnight feedings and how I would let her linger on my shoulder just a little bit longer after she'd finished her bottle. I would breathe in the smell of her hair and try to burn it into my memory. I did the same thing with Hailey, but I have to admit, not nearly as often as I wish now that I would have. Time can teach us things.
Here are some quotes about time:
"How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on." ~Zall's Second Law
"Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you." ~Carl Sandburg
"Time is a brisk wind, for each hour it brings something new... but who can understand and measure its sharp breath, its mystery and its design?" ~Paracelsus
"Time, the cradle of hope.... Wisdom walks before it, opportunity with it, and repentance behind it: he that has made it his friend will have little to fear from his enemies, but he that has made it his enemy will have little to hope from his friends." ~Charles Caleb Colton
"Time is an equal opportunity employer. Each human being has exactly the same number of hours and minutes every day. Rich people can't buy more hours. Scientists can't invent new minutes. And you can't save time to spend it on another day. Even so, time is amazingly fair and forgiving. No matter how much time you've wasted in the past, you still have an entire tomorrow." ~Denis Waitely
Here are a few things that time has taught me:
You can't get it back once it's gone.
Sometimes it's a healer, and sometimes it isn't.
It will eventually show up on your face.
It's a powerful thing, if you let it be.
It's not always "fair."
You can't always redeem lost time, but God can.
It's entirely up to you what you do with it.
Sometimes it's OK to let a little time slip by and take a rest.
It can be our best friend or our worst enemy.
It's a precious gift every day.
If you still have time, you have opportunity.
We should never try to rush it if the Lord has asked us to wait on Him.
I want to make the best of it so that I have as little regrets as possible.
I'm sure most of you have heard the following passage of scripture, but it's well worth reading again...
Ecclesiastes 3:1-15, 22
A Time for Everything
"1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him. 15 Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; and God will call the past to account."
"22 So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?"
My "work", at least for this time in my life, is to be a mother and a wife. Verse 22 reminded me that I need to enjoy every moment of it because it is what God has called me to do. The time I spend with my kids and my husband is precious, and it's going too fast. Sure, God has called me to other things as well. But, my time needs to be invested more into my relationships than anything else. God has given me these children to love, to train, to teach, to inspire, to encourage, and to help shape the women they will become someday. A day I think will be here far too soon for me. He has given me my husband, to be his helpmate. To inspire, encourage, and to build him up. To be a team. Take the time to invest in your families. It will be worth it.
I've been thinking about time a lot lately. How fast it seems to go at times and how painfully slow it seems to go at other times. The truth is, time is exactly the same, day in and day out. It never changes. While we're on earth, there will always be 60 seconds in a minute and 60 minutes in an hour. There will be day and night every day. Time won't stop because we want it to, and we can't speed up time either. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's ever wanted to change time.
I remember when my oldest daughter was a toddler and my youngest was an infant. How long the days seemed. Someone said to me during that time, "The days seem to go on forever, but the years will fly by." I used to think, "Yeah, right. These are the slowest years of my life." You know what, that person was right. I look back now on all the sleepless nights and all the spit-up I wore on my clothes and had to clean off of everything, all the feedings that seemed to take hours, all the toys scattered everywhere because I had no energy to put them away, the piles and piles of laundry, the long afternoons when the girls were bored and needing to be entertained and all I wanted to do was take a nap, the days of teething that seemed to last forever...
Even though it seemed like forever at the time, I'm sitting here now thinking, "Where did all the time go?" I can hold intelligent conversations with both of my girls. They are so smart. They are good learners, awesome artists, and say more words in one day than I could ever have imagined. My little Sarah still loves to snuggle with me and I'm so glad. She can make her body curl up into a tiny ball on my lap and I love, love, love it. My Hailey will still snuggle with me a little, but she'd rather be off doing something else, which is totally natural for her age. I still can't believe she will be seven years old next week.
Time really seemed to speed up once she started school. Maybe because we had a set routine that we had to do every day. Kids are really good at wanting to speed up time. Especially when they have something that they're really looking forward to, like a birthday party or a trip to Disneyland. My husband and I learned early on not to mention any major events or trips until very soon before the actual event at the risk of being "whined" to death by the girls. Or asked for the millionth time, "When do we get to go? Why can't we go NOW?" If you're a parent, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
Thinking back to when Hailey was born, I remember wanting time to go faster. I couldn't wait for her to sit up on her own, then crawl, then pull herself up to stand, and then to walk. And boy did she make me wait. She didn't sit up on her own until 8 months, she crawled at 11 months, pulled herself up at 13 months and walked on her 16 month birthday. I was freaking out! I was convinced that she had a disability even though the doctor assured me that she was totally fine. And she is! She just liked to do everything in her own time, and she's the same way today.
Isn't it funny how when the second baby comes along, suddenly you don't want to hurry time as much? At least that was how it was for me when Sarah was born. I knew she was going to be my last child and so I wanted to slow down time every day. I remember midnight feedings and how I would let her linger on my shoulder just a little bit longer after she'd finished her bottle. I would breathe in the smell of her hair and try to burn it into my memory. I did the same thing with Hailey, but I have to admit, not nearly as often as I wish now that I would have. Time can teach us things.
Here are some quotes about time:
"How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on." ~Zall's Second Law
"Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you." ~Carl Sandburg
"Time is a brisk wind, for each hour it brings something new... but who can understand and measure its sharp breath, its mystery and its design?" ~Paracelsus
"Time, the cradle of hope.... Wisdom walks before it, opportunity with it, and repentance behind it: he that has made it his friend will have little to fear from his enemies, but he that has made it his enemy will have little to hope from his friends." ~Charles Caleb Colton
"Time is an equal opportunity employer. Each human being has exactly the same number of hours and minutes every day. Rich people can't buy more hours. Scientists can't invent new minutes. And you can't save time to spend it on another day. Even so, time is amazingly fair and forgiving. No matter how much time you've wasted in the past, you still have an entire tomorrow." ~Denis Waitely
Here are a few things that time has taught me:
You can't get it back once it's gone.
Sometimes it's a healer, and sometimes it isn't.
It will eventually show up on your face.
It's a powerful thing, if you let it be.
It's not always "fair."
You can't always redeem lost time, but God can.
It's entirely up to you what you do with it.
Sometimes it's OK to let a little time slip by and take a rest.
It can be our best friend or our worst enemy.
It's a precious gift every day.
If you still have time, you have opportunity.
We should never try to rush it if the Lord has asked us to wait on Him.
I want to make the best of it so that I have as little regrets as possible.
I'm sure most of you have heard the following passage of scripture, but it's well worth reading again...
Ecclesiastes 3:1-15, 22
A Time for Everything
"1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him. 15 Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before; and God will call the past to account."
"22 So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?"
My "work", at least for this time in my life, is to be a mother and a wife. Verse 22 reminded me that I need to enjoy every moment of it because it is what God has called me to do. The time I spend with my kids and my husband is precious, and it's going too fast. Sure, God has called me to other things as well. But, my time needs to be invested more into my relationships than anything else. God has given me these children to love, to train, to teach, to inspire, to encourage, and to help shape the women they will become someday. A day I think will be here far too soon for me. He has given me my husband, to be his helpmate. To inspire, encourage, and to build him up. To be a team. Take the time to invest in your families. It will be worth it.
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