Thursday, May 26, 2011

I Surrender All

When I think of the word "surrender", I think of a person on TV with their hands up.  They've laid their weapon down and kicked it away, and they are now at the mercy of the person who is aiming their weapon at them.  To surrender means:  1. To yield (something) to the possession or power of another; deliver up possession of on demand or under duress.  2. To give (oneself) up.  3. To give (oneself) up to some influence, course, emotion, etc.

Usually, the act of surrendering is followed by something negative; something fearful.  The person's future is uncertain in the hands of the person they are surrendering to.  Just because they've surrendered does not mean that they are going to escape prison, torture, or even death...even if they are completely innocent.  No wonder it scares people when they hear the phrase, "Surrender yourself to God."  Especially if they are not even sure who God really is.  But what if the person you're surrendering to is a loving, gentle, generous person whose desire for you is to give you a future and a hope and to give you the desires of your heart?  This person is not pointing a weapon at you forcing you to surrender.  He's standing there with open arms, waiting patiently for you, ready to lead you into the marvelous future he has planned for you.  However, he wants you to be willing to completely give your life over to him and trust him completely.  He wants you to surrender. 

To me, surrendering is not always easy.  Even though the concept is basic, the act of surrendering can be very difficult.  Some things are much easier to surrender than others.  However, it depends on the person and what they are being asked to surrender.  What may be very difficult for one person to surrender may be a piece of cake for someone else.  That's why we can never judge people on this subject.  We shouldn't judge people on any subject, but right now I'm talking about surrendering.

Has God ever asked you to surrender something?  A habit, maybe?  A job, a relationship, a child, a dream?  Whatever he's asking you to surrender, you must have confidence that he is going to take care of you and that he only wants the best for you.  Surrendering something to God doesn't necessarily mean that you are going to lose it.  Sometimes it does, but sometimes it's purely the act of surrendering in obedience to Him that he's looking for.  When you surrender to God, you are being set free.  It's the opposite of surrendering to an enemy, or to someone who is demanding that you surrender or die.  God isn't asking you to surrender so that he can lock you up and control your life.  He wants to set you free.

Some people are afraid of surrendering because they fear that they will lose control of their life.  I used to be one of those people.  I am a very independent person and I like things to be in control.  I used to try to do everything in my own strength and then, when that didn't work, I would turn to God and beg him to help me.  If I would have surrendered to him right away, then I wouldn't have had to work so hard and the outcome would have been much better.  When you surrender your life to God, you are agreeing to hand over to him all of your desires, your dreams, your hopes, your fears, your family, your spouse, your children, your future, everything.  You are saying, "God, I trust you to handle my life more than I trust myself.  Lead me and guide me, use me Lord in whatever way you see fit.  I am an open vessel and I'm ready to be used by you."  My desire is that it becomes an automatic response, without hesitation.  My hands are up, my eyes are looking upward, and I am ready to receive all that God has for me. 

I find it interesting that nowhere in the bible is there a scripture that demands that we surrender to God.  There are, however, several verses that tell us to submit to God.  Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."  Another familiar scripture is James 4:7-8a.  "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.  Come near to God and he will come near to you."  We are to submit to God, certainly.  But, submitting is not the same thing as surrendering.  A lot of people have a negative view of the word "submit" as well...sometimes even more so than "surrender."  For example, if you had really controlling parents growing up who yelled at you, "You will submit to me, or else!"  Another example would be if you had, or have, a demanding spouse who is very domineering and controlling.  Everything in you would resist submitting to that type of person.  God is not that type of person.

I read the following statement today and I think it's a good description of the difference between submission and surrendering.  "Submission is something we can do, something we control. In surrender, we make the conscious choice to let go of that control, but the actual surrender is something only God can do. Another gift from the Father to His children.  When we submit, we 'give in,' keeping the focus on ourselves.  When we surrender, we 'give up,' putting the focus where it belongs: on God.  But it isn't giving up in the way we normally define it.  The action is more like 'giving over.'  In love.  It is offered to us in love, by Love, for love.  And we accept it the same way: in love, for love, out of love.  Our best example is Jesus.  While here on earth, He didn't just submit, He surrendered.  He handed Himself over to others, He emptied Himself completely.  Out of the same motivation He came to Earth in the first place: love."

When we surrender to God, we are still going to use the gifts, talents, and resources that He's given us.  We will still have our own will and our own ability to think and make decisions.  Surrendering doesn't mean that we stop thinking for ourselves or belittle our God-given ability to reason.  It also doesn't mean that we will always hear a booming voice from Heaven every time we have a question about what we're to do, or where we're to go.  It doesn't mean that we sit around and wait for God to tell us what we're supposed to do that day.  It means that as we are going about our day, we are open to hearing from him.  Our ears and eyes are open to what he would want to say to us through his Holy Spirit.  We are willing to go where he tells us to go and stay where he tells us to stay.  It's not just about submitting to his will, it's about surrendering to his will completely.  When we surrender, we give ourselves back to God.  We can trust him to guide us and protect us in all our ways because we will be working to accomplish His purposes.  In surrendering, there is freedom.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Faith, Trust, And Pixie Dust

Yesterday was Mother's Day.  I had high hopes of being able to wake up, get ready, and go to church with my family.  Well, those hopes came crashing down when I got out of the shower and got dressed to go.  I was trying so hard to ignore the vertigo and the pain in my stomach and legs, but it was no use.  Vertigo is something I just can't ignore.  I felt like I was going to pass out, so I sat down on my bed and cried.  There it is folks...the ugly truth.  I cried because I was frustrated and sad that I was going to miss church again.  I cried because I felt like I was letting my family down.  Most of all, I cried because I was sick of the pain and the dizziness.  I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.  Remember in my last blog post when I said that it's OK to have to give something to the Lord a hundred times a day if need be?  Well, that was me yesterday.  I had to wrestle with my thoughts all day and beat them into submission to the Word of God.  I had to fight against depression most of all.  It was exhausting, but worth it.

The girls decided that they wanted to have a Tinkerbell movie marathon while we ate snacks together and snuggled.  I was too tired to really care what we watched, I just knew I wanted to be with them.  I'd already seen all three of the Tinkerbell movies and nothing really stuck out to me until yesterday.  One of the main lines in the movies is from "Peter Pan."  The line is, "All it takes is faith and trust...and a little bit of pixie dust."  This is what the character says to whoever it is they are trying to teach to fly.  The other ingredient to being able to fly is to "think happy thoughts."  Sometimes it's really hard to think happy thoughts, especially in the midst of suffering.  But, it is crucial to being able to persevere.  In Philippians 4, Paul tells the people to think on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy.  He told the people to put into practice everything they had learned or heard from him, or seen in him.  And that if they put those things into practice, then the God of peace would be with them.  Thinking happy thoughts helps us to rise above our problems and look up to the Lord, keeping our focus in the right place.

As we were watching the movie, Hailey said, "Mommy, I wish I could fly.  Do you ever wish you could fly?"  I told her that I definitely wished I could fly and we talked about what we would do and where we would go if we could fly.  I started to think about how I would love to be able to fly above all my problems and leave all the pain and anxiety behind forever.  I realized that as much as I would like to be able to do that right this second, it's not going to happen.  But, it will happen someday.  I will be taken to Heaven and will leave all this earthly pain behind forever.  That is the hope that keeps me going through days like yesterday...well, through every day actually.  It's the same hope for all who believe in Jesus.  Revelation 2:7 says, "He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.  To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat of the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God (Heaven)."  To overcome is to be victorious by believing in Jesus, persevering, remaining faithful, and living our lives devoted to following him.  Such a life will bring great rewards.

Even though I can't physically fly above all my problems, in a way I can.  Isaiah 40:31 says, "...but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."  My hope is in the Lord and because of that I have full confidence that this verse applies to me.  I can soar on wings like eagles, in my spirit.  Someday soon I will walk and not be faint from vertigo, and someday I have hope that I will be able to take off running and run as long as I want to.  Having hope in the Lord means that you fully expect that his promise of strength will help you to rise above your circumstances.  It means that you trust him completely.  When we trust him completely, then we will be prepared when he speaks to us.  That way, when he asks us to wait for something, or wait on him, we will be patient and fully expect him to fulfill the promises in his Word.  He will fulfill the promises in his word.  To fully hope in the Lord takes faith and trust...and not even a hint of pixie dust. : )

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Life Is Learning

Much has happened since my last blog post.  Rather than get into all the details, I will just share with you what I've been learning.  The main thing I've learned is that God is truly with me, no matter how bad my circumstances are.  He has shown his great love to me over and over again these past few weeks and I have no doubt of his compassion for me. 

I think there are times in our lives where we are forced to make a choice about what we really believe.  Do we really trust God?  Do we really believe what His Word says?  Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  Our circumstances will change, we may change, but He never does...and neither does His Word.  As much as I have disliked what I've been going through, I think it has been absolutely necessary.  My faith has been tested, and I truly believe I'm passing the test.

I hate uncertainty.  It causes me anxiety which, if I don't catch it right away, spirals into a deep panic attack.  What I've learned is that even when things are uncertain, when I have no idea what's going to happen next, God does.  He has me in his grip at all times.  Therefore, I should not fear what's coming next.  Psalm 73:23-26 says, "Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.  You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.  Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you.  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

God is holding my hand always.  He will guide me and counsel me through this life and then he will take me to Heaven to live with him forever.  I will never be without him.  Even though my body and my heart may fail me, God is my strength.  He has made that known to me these past few weeks as my body has "failed" me.  Yet, even as my body has been weak, my spirit has been made strong. 

Having faith does not mean that all your problems disappear instantly.  Even as I type this, my throat is tight and anxiety is trying to creep in because I'm dealing with vertigo again today.  Vertigo is very unsettling and scary.  In my case, faith means that I am believing with all my heart that God has healed me even though I am not seeing the full evidence of it.  I know that I am healed, now I am walking it out by faith.  I'm trusting in God's promises.  "The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made.  The Lord upholds all who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down." ~ Psalm 145:13-14.  God is ready and willing to carry our burdens for us.  What we have to do is let go of them and give them to him. 

We have a lot of uncertainty in the world right now, let alone our own personal struggles.  When the news announcement was made that Osama Bin Laden was killed, I have to admit that I had some anxiety.  I was happy that he had been brought to justice, but thought to myself, "OK, what does this mean for us now?"  However, what usually would have weighed me down with worry and fear for several days didn't even make it into the next day.  I was fully able to give it to God and not worry about it anymore.  After all, why worry about something I have absolutely no control over?  That was huge for me though because that's how I've always been.  I've always hated the feeling of not being in control.  But, not so much anymore.  I realized that I was putting more faith in myself and my own strength than in God.  How silly is that?  Why would I trust my own fragile self more than the God who created the entire universe?  I'll tell you why.  Because that is what we humans do!  We were designed to think, to create, to be problem solvers, to survive.  Those are all good things.  But when they take over and overshadow our reliance on God, they become things that tear us apart inside and we feel frustrated, defeated, and overwhelmed.

I have to admit, it's a little harder to give physical pain over to the Lord completely when it's staring you in the face every day.  That's been the biggest struggle of all for me.  I have not arrived at the place I want to be in my faith regarding this subject, but I am well on my way.  It's OK to give something to the Lord over and over again.  You are not a failure if you can't give it to him the first time and leave it at his feet for good.  Some things are much more difficult to hand over than others.  What we need to do is realize when we are holding onto something and trying to control the situation in our own strength, and then as soon as we realize it, hand it over to him right away.  If that has to happen 100 times a day, so be it.  Eventually we will know when we've given it to him completely, and then peace will come.

I am also going to stop feeling guilty about asking for help when I need it.  I know that when the situation is reversed and someone needs my help, I will be there. 

If you are struggling right now, keep in mind that you are not alone.  Don't try to do this life in your own strength.  You will just wear yourself out.  Give Jesus your burdens, your hurts, your fears, your pain...let him carry them for you.  He has compassion on you and he loves you.