Sometimes life is unfair. That's what I had to tell my daughter Hailey last week. She asked me, "Mommy, why did God make me with food allergies? It's just not fair." She is usually OK with the fact that she can't eat wheat or drink milk, but it was one of those days when a fellow classmate had brought in cupcakes for their birthday and she was feeling down because she couldn't have one. Her teacher is awesome though. On those days, she personally walks Hailey to the cafeteria to pick out an Italian ice or a popsicle. I just found that out a couple weeks ago when she called about a trail mix they were making in class. I love her school. They are so careful with the kids who have allergies and I really appreciate it.
So, I found myself in this conversation with Hailey about life and how some things don't seem fair. I told her that life hands us all kinds of things and, fair or not, how we handle them is what matters most. I told her that we have to look on the positive side of things because we can always find something good in every situation. I told her that even though life is unfair sometimes, we have so much to be thankful for. I tried to get her to focus on the foods she can still eat instead of on the ones she can't eat. She felt much better after our talk and I felt better knowing that I had cheered her up a little. (It kind of reminded me of playing "The Glad Game", like in the movie, "Pollyanna".)
This week, I find myself having to replay that conversation and listen to my own advice. I received a call from my doctor last Friday night that my blood test for celiac disease was positive. In order to get a firm diagnosis, I have to have a biopsy of my intestines. However, given my symptoms, my history, and my other blood work, I have decided not to have the procedure done to confirm it. It has pretty much confirmed itself. The treatment would be the same no matter what the test shows...no more wheat, rye, or barley for the rest of my life. I also have to eliminate dairy from my diet for at least the next few months so that my intestines can heal and be able to process lactose properly again. I am already starting to feel a little better not having wheat for a week now, and not having dairy for a couple days. I have a long way to go, but I am confident that I will be feeling amazing within the next six months.
I blogged a couple of months ago about how I felt like a change was coming. I don't know if this is what that change is all about, or if it's the changes going on around the world, but this will definitely be a change in my life. The first thought that came into my head was that I was glad I had an answer. Immediately following that positive thought was a negative thought. "This is just one more thing that you have to give up...one more thing that makes you not normal...one more thing to worry about." Once I took those thoughts captive and realized that I didn't have to let them fester I felt better. It would be very easy to once again go down the road of self-pity. But as they say, "Been there. Done that." I definitely don't want to go down that road again. I'm choosing to be thankful that this is something that can be treated with diet changes and not medication with possibly horrible side effects. Sure, it means I can't eat several things that have always been my favorite, but it also means that I'm going to start feeling better and I can't wait!
Is it "fair"? Well, I don't think so. But, what is fair? Is it fair that people get cancer? Is it fair that earthquakes and tornadoes and hurricanes kill people and destroy whole cities? Is it fair that someone gets injured on their job and has to go bankrupt? Lots of things that happen in this life are unfair. The truth is, I really do believe what I said to my daughter is true. Unfair and bad things are going to happen to everyone in this life and it's how we choose to handle them that matters most. We can make a bad situation much worse with a bad attitude. I'm sure most of you have seen the following quote, but I wanted to share it with you anyway.
"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes." ~ Charles Swindoll
I am sure that there will be days when my attitude will be less than pleasant regarding the fact that I now have to read every single label on every single thing I eat. I have to be very careful when I go to restaurants. Gone are the days of onion rings and french bread and my favorite pastries. But, I've already had a head start in doing the exact same thing for Hailey for over a year now. We already know things that work and things that don't work. AND, I have a beautiful sister who also has celiac disease and she is sharing her knowledge with me. That is priceless. Even though I know there will be "those days", I know that the majority of my days will be spent being thankful. How could I not be? I serve a God who loves me. He is answering my prayers regarding my health and I'm getting answers to questions I've had for a long time.
So begins my new journey. If you are a friend of mine who lives close by, you just might be getting a phone call from me to come be my gluten-free recipe guinea pigs. : ) Remember that no matter how unfair life seems, there is always a reason to be thankful. Always.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Perception
Perceive. I've been thinking about that word a lot lately. How we perceive things is very important...to us. I say "to us" because what we perceive can be quite different than how someone else might perceive it. For example, something that causes us stress may be exciting to someone else. We may perceive a situation to be dangerous, but someone else may feel no danger at all. We may perceive things about ourselves that would have others asking, "Why would they feel that way? I don't see them that way." I've been thinking about how I perceive things. God, my life, other people's lives, this world we live in, my health, etc. And I've been wondering if my perceptions are accurate. Are they based on fact or theories? Are they necessary concerns or unnecessary fear? Do I really come across to other people the way I think I do? If so, is there anything I should change? Am I doing a pretty good job?
Perceive means: To become aware of (something) through the senses, especially the sight, to recognize or observe, to come to comprehend; grasp, to recognize, discern, envision or understand. Am I able to discern and comprehend fully what I am perceiving or do I jump to a fast conclusion? Some things are basic perceptions. An example would be that you looked out the window and perceived that it was a sunny day. It doesn't take deep thinking to figure out what kind of day it is when you look out the window. However, what you see out your window could be argued by someone who is just down the road from you. That is, if a rain cloud happens to be over their house at the exact same time that it's sunny at your house. Both perceptions are accurate and both are completely different at the same time. (This type of example is very common if you live in Virginia Beach! Ha ha!)
There are other perceptions that may be a little more complicated, especially when it comes to your children. Like, when you perceive that your child is not feeling well and yet you don't know exactly what's wrong with them. You may have to discern what's going on by trial and error, asking them where it hurts, looking at their throat with a flashlight, etc. The school nurse might be looking at them thinking, "There is nothing really wrong with this child. They should just go back to class." Yet, when you go to school to pick them up, you can see right away when you look in their eyes that they really are sick and need to go home. A mother's perception of her child is different than that of a stranger, or even someone else who knows their child well. I think it's because mothers just know when something is not right with their children. God has given us a special way to discern things. This also includes those times when your child has completely duped someone into believing they are sick (or innocent) and you take one look at them and know they've tried to pull a fast one. It definitely goes both ways. : )
This brings me to another perception...my perception of God. Does how I perceive him change from day to day depending on how that day is going? Do I perceive him as loving, kind, generous, faithful and trustworthy (to name a few) only when things are going well in my life? I've been really convicted with this thought these past couple of days. I am struggling with some health issues that are very challenging and unnerving and I have no idea what is causing them and why. When I was looking up scriptures, I came across Job 38-42. It was a very powerful reminder of who God is and how powerful he is. He is so much greater than my piddly little health issues. They don't feel like small issues while I'm dealing with them, but when I look at how mighty God is and how He is ultimately in control of this entire earth and everything beyond it, I realize that I have no right at all to be asking the question, "Why is this happening to me?"
The really awesome thing is that God cares about me. He knows what I'm going through and he loves me. I realized that my faith had been shaken a bit and had to regain control of my trust in Him. It's so easy to become afraid when you know that something is wrong in your body and you have no idea what's causing it. God knows my body inside and out because he created me. Psalm 139:13-14 says, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." I trust in God's Word, 100%. If that is the case, if I really believe that statement, then I must perceive him to be the same yesterday, today, and forever. I cannot waiver in my perception of Him because he never wavers in his perception of me. To him, I am the apple of his eye. I am his beloved child. That will never change. Hebrews 13:8 says, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." It says it, so I believe it.
I have to renew my mind and my perceptions daily...sometimes hundreds of times a day it seems. The key is recognizing that my perceptions are not always accurate, and then trusting God for wisdom and understanding so that I can change them. Getting out of negative thought patterns can be really tough if you're not on guard. Stay alert, stay focused, keep your perceptions aligned with fact and not fiction. That goes for how you perceive God, yourself, others, and every situation you find yourself in. (A thought for another time: Sometimes we can perceive things to be good, when in fact they are bad.) We're all in this together, so encourage someone today. You just might be the one to help turn a bad perception into a good one.
Perceive means: To become aware of (something) through the senses, especially the sight, to recognize or observe, to come to comprehend; grasp, to recognize, discern, envision or understand. Am I able to discern and comprehend fully what I am perceiving or do I jump to a fast conclusion? Some things are basic perceptions. An example would be that you looked out the window and perceived that it was a sunny day. It doesn't take deep thinking to figure out what kind of day it is when you look out the window. However, what you see out your window could be argued by someone who is just down the road from you. That is, if a rain cloud happens to be over their house at the exact same time that it's sunny at your house. Both perceptions are accurate and both are completely different at the same time. (This type of example is very common if you live in Virginia Beach! Ha ha!)
There are other perceptions that may be a little more complicated, especially when it comes to your children. Like, when you perceive that your child is not feeling well and yet you don't know exactly what's wrong with them. You may have to discern what's going on by trial and error, asking them where it hurts, looking at their throat with a flashlight, etc. The school nurse might be looking at them thinking, "There is nothing really wrong with this child. They should just go back to class." Yet, when you go to school to pick them up, you can see right away when you look in their eyes that they really are sick and need to go home. A mother's perception of her child is different than that of a stranger, or even someone else who knows their child well. I think it's because mothers just know when something is not right with their children. God has given us a special way to discern things. This also includes those times when your child has completely duped someone into believing they are sick (or innocent) and you take one look at them and know they've tried to pull a fast one. It definitely goes both ways. : )
This brings me to another perception...my perception of God. Does how I perceive him change from day to day depending on how that day is going? Do I perceive him as loving, kind, generous, faithful and trustworthy (to name a few) only when things are going well in my life? I've been really convicted with this thought these past couple of days. I am struggling with some health issues that are very challenging and unnerving and I have no idea what is causing them and why. When I was looking up scriptures, I came across Job 38-42. It was a very powerful reminder of who God is and how powerful he is. He is so much greater than my piddly little health issues. They don't feel like small issues while I'm dealing with them, but when I look at how mighty God is and how He is ultimately in control of this entire earth and everything beyond it, I realize that I have no right at all to be asking the question, "Why is this happening to me?"
The really awesome thing is that God cares about me. He knows what I'm going through and he loves me. I realized that my faith had been shaken a bit and had to regain control of my trust in Him. It's so easy to become afraid when you know that something is wrong in your body and you have no idea what's causing it. God knows my body inside and out because he created me. Psalm 139:13-14 says, "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." I trust in God's Word, 100%. If that is the case, if I really believe that statement, then I must perceive him to be the same yesterday, today, and forever. I cannot waiver in my perception of Him because he never wavers in his perception of me. To him, I am the apple of his eye. I am his beloved child. That will never change. Hebrews 13:8 says, "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." It says it, so I believe it.
I have to renew my mind and my perceptions daily...sometimes hundreds of times a day it seems. The key is recognizing that my perceptions are not always accurate, and then trusting God for wisdom and understanding so that I can change them. Getting out of negative thought patterns can be really tough if you're not on guard. Stay alert, stay focused, keep your perceptions aligned with fact and not fiction. That goes for how you perceive God, yourself, others, and every situation you find yourself in. (A thought for another time: Sometimes we can perceive things to be good, when in fact they are bad.) We're all in this together, so encourage someone today. You just might be the one to help turn a bad perception into a good one.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Success and Failure
I have much on my mind today. Do you ever have those days where you ponder life? Today is one of those days for me. When I get like this, I am tempted to feel overwhelmed and a bit anxious. I'm not sure why exactly...I know that I am loved, I'm taken care of, I'm blessed, and I'm OK. So, why be anxious? I've never been a fan of the "unknown." I think maybe that is why I feel unsettled when I think about life and all that life is. Sometimes I wish I had a magic mirror that would tell me what's going to happen next. But really, that wouldn't be a good idea. You know how they say, "Hindsight is 20/20?" I think hindsight is necessary for growth. If we always knew what was going to happen, then we wouldn't need to step out in faith and try anything...especially if we knew we were going to fail. Who would knowingly do something if they knew the result would be total failure? I know I wouldn't.
Failure is as important as success. If you never fail, then you won't fully appreciate it when you succeed. We have to take risks. We have to try. If you give up, then you automatically fail. So, why not take the risk and see if you just might succeed? If you fail, OK, you fail. But what if you don't? Theodore Roosevelt said, "It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed." He's right. Whenever I've had the opportunity to "go for it" and I've backed off and given up, I always feel worse later. It's like my courage or bravery comes the next day, after it's too late. Then I'm plagued with thoughts like, "Man, if I would have just done it I might have succeeded! Why am I such a chicken?" Thomas Edison said, "I failed my way to success." Samuel Smiles said, "We learn wisdom from failure much more than success. We often discover what we will do, by finding out what we will not do." There are some things that I've been wanting to do for a long time, but I've been putting them off. I realized today that the reason I've been avoiding them is because I don't want to try and then fail.
My Dad is a man of great wisdom. When I was a kid, he used to have talks with me about failure. If I had a situation I was facing where I was afraid to try something, he would ask me, "OK, what is the worst thing that could happen? What's the worst case scenario if this doesn't work out? Would you die? Would it affect you so negatively that you couldn't go on with life? Etc., etc." When he put it that way, and I really thought about it, I realized just how silly I was acting. It wasn't like my fear went away completely, but it gave me the courage to step out and do it. It almost always ended up working out much better than I thought it would. Recently, I had an opportunity to do something and I texted my Dad about how nervous I was. Just like when I was a kid (minus cell phones), he texted back, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" I texted him back what I thought the worst thing that could happen was and he texted back, "It will be just fine..." And you know what? It was. It was better than fine. It was a success.
Sometimes all it takes for us to try is a fresh perspective and a little encouragement. I'm going to move forward with the things that I want to do and if I fail, well then, I fail. So what? I'll never know if I can succeed if I don't try. I am also going to try my best not to be anxious about what the future holds. After all, Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Now that is encouraging!
Failure is as important as success. If you never fail, then you won't fully appreciate it when you succeed. We have to take risks. We have to try. If you give up, then you automatically fail. So, why not take the risk and see if you just might succeed? If you fail, OK, you fail. But what if you don't? Theodore Roosevelt said, "It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed." He's right. Whenever I've had the opportunity to "go for it" and I've backed off and given up, I always feel worse later. It's like my courage or bravery comes the next day, after it's too late. Then I'm plagued with thoughts like, "Man, if I would have just done it I might have succeeded! Why am I such a chicken?" Thomas Edison said, "I failed my way to success." Samuel Smiles said, "We learn wisdom from failure much more than success. We often discover what we will do, by finding out what we will not do." There are some things that I've been wanting to do for a long time, but I've been putting them off. I realized today that the reason I've been avoiding them is because I don't want to try and then fail.
My Dad is a man of great wisdom. When I was a kid, he used to have talks with me about failure. If I had a situation I was facing where I was afraid to try something, he would ask me, "OK, what is the worst thing that could happen? What's the worst case scenario if this doesn't work out? Would you die? Would it affect you so negatively that you couldn't go on with life? Etc., etc." When he put it that way, and I really thought about it, I realized just how silly I was acting. It wasn't like my fear went away completely, but it gave me the courage to step out and do it. It almost always ended up working out much better than I thought it would. Recently, I had an opportunity to do something and I texted my Dad about how nervous I was. Just like when I was a kid (minus cell phones), he texted back, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" I texted him back what I thought the worst thing that could happen was and he texted back, "It will be just fine..." And you know what? It was. It was better than fine. It was a success.
Sometimes all it takes for us to try is a fresh perspective and a little encouragement. I'm going to move forward with the things that I want to do and if I fail, well then, I fail. So what? I'll never know if I can succeed if I don't try. I am also going to try my best not to be anxious about what the future holds. After all, Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Now that is encouraging!
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