That "One Thing"

Last week, I started a new workout routine and decided to cut out sugar all in the same 48 hour time period.  What was I thinking?  I have to say that physically, I feel really good (even though my muscles are questioning that statement.)  Mood wise, I feel like I need to hit something.  I finally had to admit to myself that sugar was an addiction.  I have had a major sweet tooth my whole life and trying to break a 34 year-old habit isn't so easy.  However, I am allowing myself one cheat day a week when I can eat whatever I want for one meal...including the biggest dessert I can find.  Eventually, I'm sure I won't even want the dessert.  Or if I do, maybe just half.  It's amazing how once you remove something from your life for a long enough period of time, your body doesn't crave it the same way.  (At least, that's what I'm telling myself will happen.)

I guess sugar is like any other addiction.  Alcohol, drugs, nicotine, etc. AND sugar all have the same effect when it comes to cravings.  When you are trying really hard to avoid something it seems like that's the very thing you want the most.  It's so unfair.  Like, when you're driving around town and the light posts look like chocolate covered pretzel sticks and the stop signs look like lollipops and you could swear that the brown Toyota that just passed you on the freeway was a giant Snickers bar sent to torture you...sigh.  I don't know, maybe I need some serious help.  Have you ever felt this way?  It is a total mind-over-matter thing with me.  I have to immediately think of something else, take a huge gulp of water, or put gum in my mouth if it gets really bad just to make it through the temptation some days.  Crazy?  Maybe. But, whatever it takes, I'm going to make it to my goal.  I can't afford not to.

What started this whole thing is the fact that my legs and feet have been acting up a lot lately.  By acting up I mean extreme pain that I clench my teeth to get through.  This does not fit into my schedule and, therefore, is unacceptable.  I absolutely refuse to go through another winter in so much pain that I feel like I want to saw my legs off.  In order for me to do that, or make a try for it anyway, is to increase physical exercise and decrease foods that are not good for me.  I know this because it's worked in the past.  Why didn't I stick with it if it was working?  Well, I'm an emotional eater.  There, I said it.  Food makes me happy.  A big bowl of mashed potatoes and gravy or homemade mac 'n cheese really does cheer me up.  That, along with a giant piece of cheesecake...any flavor.  The problem is, when I eat that stuff I get lazy, I get a headache, and I don't want to do anything but sit around.  Sitting around for too long and letting exercise slip by month after month is what leads to more pain in my legs and feet.

So, what made me snap out of this and decide to make these changes?  The Lord has been speaking to me a lot lately about abundant life, living with conviction and self-control, pursuing peace, etc.  I'm realizing that what he's called me to do cannot be done from my couch.  Last Sunday night, I really did not want to get up off the couch and go to church.  I was in pain, I was in my pj's, and I just didn't want to go.  Whenever I feel like that, it usually means I'm really supposed to go.  As it turns out, what the Lord spoke to me through that message was what has changed me, for good.  The main quote I took with me was, "It's the break-away that makes the breakthrough."  Until we're ready to break away from that "something" that we're holding onto, we won't see the breakthrough we need.  We have to be willing to break away from old ways and old habits.

He had these bars (like jail bars) set up on stage with a large piece of fruit sitting on a table behind them.  He reached his hand in the bars and grabbed hold of the fruit and wouldn't let go.  As hard as he tried, he couldn't break away from the bars because he refused to let go of the fruit.  He asked these questions:  "What is that one thing, that one issue, the one thing you can't let go of?"  Immediately, my answer was sugar.  I realized that until I was willing to let go of that, there was no way I was going to get my breakthrough.  And I NEED this breakthrough!  I can't do this on my own either.  I have to ask for Jesus to help me because in my own strength, it won't happen the way it needs to.  Now, I'm not discounting my own strength, and Jesus doesn't either.  It is entirely up to me whether or not I exercise and have willpower over sugar and foods I shouldn't eat.  But, I do need his help and I know that because he spoke to me so clearly about this, he's going to help me.

Your "one thing" may be something completely different from mine.  But, I encourage you to think about what it might be...if you even have one.  You could be doing great and walking in your breakthrough right now.  If you are, Praise the Lord!  I will surely be praising him when I'm walking in mine.  But if you aren't, and you are still waiting for your breakthrough, then take a look at what you might be holding on to.  Once you know what it is, give it to God and let it go.  I'll keep you posted on my new journey.  I'm so excited I can hardly stand it!!! 

Pursuing Peace

I don't know if you're like me, but I am not a huge fan of "change."  I like life to be exciting and fun, but I also crave stability.  I don't like it when things are unsettled.  Every now and then I'll get a feeling that something, some kind of change, is around the corner.  For a brief moment, I'll feel a twinge of excitement.  In the next moment, I get an uneasy feeling that comes over me.  I really hate that because I'd rather just be excited.  The thing is, I have no idea what I'm excited or uneasy about!  It's just a "feeling" that a change is coming.  I've had this feeling for a couple of days now and I really wish it would go away. 

I've had some big changes happen in my life.  I've gotten through every one of them with the Lord's help, so I have no doubt that if a change really is coming He'll be with me through it.  I think the worst part is not knowing what the change is.  It could very well be a positive change...but there's no way to tell the future.  In these times when I have this feeling, I have to really guard myself against anxiety.  Anxiety creeps in so easily and it can wreak havoc in your life.  I cling to the verse that says, "The Lord is near. ⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 4:5b-7

I need the peace of God that transcends all understanding, especially in these times of uncertainty about the future.  At our women's service at church yesterday, the speaker talked about "The Pursuit of Peace."  I found it really interesting when she said that we have to pursue peace.  It's really true.  We can't expect peace to just fall into our lap and make us feel all warm and fuzzy.  Now, there have been times where I've been having a tough day and all of a sudden a peace has come over me that I didn't understand, but I was glad it was there.  It usually ends up that someone will tell me later that they were praying for me that day.  But, in the times where you feel like your heart and mind are in turmoil, you have to go after peace.  Sometimes you have to chase it down in an active effort to find it.  And sometimes, when you do find it, it's not exactly a warm fuzzy kind of feeling that you get.  It's a "knowing" deep in your heart, your gut, that everything is going to be OK.  It settles you even though on the surface you may still "feel" unsettled.  That kind of peace comes from praying, reading the Word, talking with other godly people who are speaking life into your situation, etc.

I have no idea what this particular feeling that I'm having now is going to turn out to be but I know my God is with me no matter what, good or bad.  I know this because he's never failed me and I know he loves me.  What do you do to find peace?  Where do you go?  I know for me, sometimes it seems near impossible!  With my two girls, my husband, the jets constantly flying over my house, etc., etc., there isn't really much peace unless I put ear plugs in and climb under the covers.  Even then, my thoughts are there, and when I sleep, my dreams are there.  I wonder why we equate peace with silence?

I used to try to find peace by taking a walk along the waterfront, having a cup of tea, going for a long drive, etc. It always worked to calm me down, but only temporarily.  I was basically trying to run away from the feeling of unsettledness, but as my pastor likes to say, "Wherever you go, there you are!"  The only way to find true peace is not to run away from the bad feelings, but to run to the Lord.  You may not have peace the very first time you pray.  Sometimes you have to pray for a few days, or even weeks!  But, God promises us that if we seek Him, we will find him.  When we find Him, we find peace.

I will keep you posted as to what this "feeling" turns out to be.  It might be nothing at all.  Usually though, when the feeling is this strong and won't go away, I can pretty much bet on something happening.  I'm believing for good things!  Until I know, I'll be camping out with my Bible and a cup of tea.  (Tea really does help.)