Thursday, August 19, 2010

Don't Be Offended

Today was one of those mornings where I really wanted to read the Word, but didn't have a clue what to read.  So, I just opened my bible and landed in Proverbs.  I read a couple chapters until I came to one particular verse.  "An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel." ~ Prov. 18:19  Normally, this verse probably wouldn't have caught my eye.  However, over the past few days I've been feeling really "offended" by someone and have had the desire to begin a dispute.  Because this verse struck me so hard that I couldn't seem to read past it, I decided to research some of the words in this verse to get the full meaning behind it.  (You know how much I love to use my dictionary.)  Usually the commentary at the bottom of the page helps me out, but there is no commentary for this verse in my bible.

First, I looked up what a fortified city was.  Here is the description from Wikipedia:  A defensive wall is a fortification used to defend a city or settlement from potential aggressors. In ancient to modern times, they were used to enclose settlements. Generally, these are referred to as city walls or town walls, although there were also walls, such as the Great Wall of China, Hadrian's Wall, and the metaphorical Atlantic Wall, which extended far beyond the borders of a city and were used to enclose regions or mark territorial boundaries. Beyond their defensive utility many walls also had important symbolic functions — representing the status and independence of the communities they embraced.


Part of the Great Wall of China, a UNESCO World Heritage Site.


Defensive wall in Stargard SzczeciƄski, Poland.


Walls of Dubrovnik, Croatia.


Lugo roman walls, Galicia.

Please bear with me as I go through some definitions of words and pick this verse apart a bit.  I don't know about you, but even though I think I know the meaning of words, I like to look them up at times when it comes to scripture.  I believe every word in the bible is God-breathed and I really want to know what He was saying when he gave men the inspiration to write it.  I'm also a very visual person, which is why I'm posting some pictures in this post.

I looked up the word "unyielding."  It means, 1. Not compliant, submissive, or flexible: his unyielding attitude.  2. Not pliable or soft: a firm and unyielding surface. 

Next, I looked up "offended."  To offend someone is to:  1. Cause resentful displeasure; irritate, annoy, or anger: a remark so thoughtless it can only offend.  2. To err in conduct; commit a sin, crime, or fault.  So if someone did to you any of the above, you could call yourself offended.

Next, I looked up "citadel."  It is:  1. A fortress that commands a city and is used in the control of the inhabitants and in defense during attack or siege.  2. Any strongly fortified place; stronghold.  3. A stronghold within or close to a city.  4. Any strongly fortified building or place of safety; refuge.  5. A specially strengthened part of the hull of a warship.

 
The Citadel: Cairo, Egypt
Back side of The Citadel: Cairo, Egypt

Next, I looked up "dispute."  It's 1. A debate, controversy, or difference of opinion.  2. A wrangling argument; quarrel.

So let's put it all together, or try to anyway.  First, let's look at the verse again.  "An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel."  Now, let's read it again but this time we'll insert some of the definitions of the words I looked up.  A resentful, irritated, annoyed, or angered brother is more non-compliant, un-submissive, inflexible, un-pliable and harder than a city who has set up a massive defensive wall to defend itself against potential aggressors...and debates, controversies, wrangling arguments and quarrels are like the barred gates of a strongly fortified place; stronghold, or a fortress that commands a city and is used in the control of the inhabitants and in defense during attack or siege.

As I read over the verse again and again after defining all the terms, here is what I think the verse is saying:  It is pointless to argue with an offended person.  That's not what I originally thought the verse was saying.  At first I thought it was telling me that it was wrong to be an offended person because of how ugly it is to be an offended person.  That is true.  I also thought it was saying that disputes are about as pointless as trying to break into the barred gates of a citadel.  Also true.  But I think what the Holy Spirit has revealed to me is that the person who "offended" me is them self, very much offended; and that raising a dispute with this person would be as futile as breaching the walls of a fortified city.  Wow!

So, what do I do with this?  I'm still hurt by what this person has done.  I still have to deal with this person.  I can't make them an un-offended person.  So, what do I do?  If you read a little further into Proverbs 19, it says in verse 11, "A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense."  Then in chapter 20, verse 3, it says "It is to a man's honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel."  I think my answer comes in chapter 26, verses 4 and 5.  "Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself.  5 Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes."  This is what the commentary says regarding these verses:  "These two verses seem to be in contradiction.  But the writer is saying that we shouldn't take a foolish person seriously and try to reason with his or her empty arguments.  This will only make him or her proud and determined to with the argument.  In some situations, you ought not to even try to answer a fool, for there is no way you can penetrate his or her closed mind (think, 'fortified city' or 'citadel'.)  You may, in fact, be stooping to that person's level if you do choose to answer.  Such a fool will abuse you and you will be tempted to abuse him or her in return (think, 'wrangling quarrel' or 'debate'.)  There are other situations where your common sense tells you to answer in order to expose the fool's pride and folly."

In my case, I think it's going to take a little bit of both.  But, more on the side of just keeping my mouth shut to disputes and forgiving the offense and moving on.  I would love to hear your comments on this verse and what it means to you.  I love digging around in the bible because sometimes what you initially see isn't really what the Lord wants to show you.  That's why he says in Proverbs 2 that if we look for wisdom as silver and search for it as hidden treasure, then we will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.

At the risk of this post being even longer than it already is, here is a link to an article called "How to Overcome Being Easily Offended."  I thought it was interesting.  I've not researched the rest of the website, so I don't necessarily endorse all of the advice on it.  I just thought these suggestions were pretty good.  Again, I would love to hear your comments on this subject.  Let's all try to remember to simply love one another and be quick to forgive.  It's what Jesus would do.  : )

Some Questions To Ask Yourself:
Are you easily offended?
Do you build, or have you built up walls around your heart to protect yourself from potential aggressors?
Do you look for reasons to be offended?
Can you forgive someone easily?
Is your heart hardened as the walls of a fortified city?
Have you allowed offenses to become strongholds?

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Get Doubt Out!

I conquered a fear last night!  Well, not so much a fear as just something I was really nervous to do.  So nervous that I was literally shaking like a leaf.  Two years ago, even one year ago, it was still a fear.  I have spent much time and effort in the last few years trying to overcome my fears regarding my feet and legs.  Last night, I proved to myself that I can do what God has called me to do now.  We know all the scriptures...(ie. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.)  But do we really believe them?  I used to say that I believed I could do all things through Christ who gives me strength, but on the inside, I was double-minded.  It was a really tough day for me when I became aware of just how double-minded I was.

This is the passage of scripture I was reading when I discovered this:  "2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.  6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  7 That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." ~ James 1:2-8

When I examined my heart after reading that passage of scripture; when I was truly honest with myself, I realized that all the years I have been dealing with this pain in my feet and legs I've been praying and doubting at the same time.  God still began healing me, but I believe the reason why I haven't received my complete healing yet is because of the tiny seed of doubt that is still buried in there.  Do I want that seed to be there anymore?  No!  The only way to get down to that bad seed and dig it out is to start doing things that are seriously uncomfortable.  Start exercising my faith little by little, one "scoopful" of dirt at a time.  I didn't even realize that the seed was in there until the Holy Spirit revealed it to me in my devotion time with him a few months ago.  (Just one more reason why I stress the importance of getting alone with God.)  The awesome thing is, the Holy Spirit is so incredibly gentle when he reveals ugly things to us about ourselves, when he convicts us.  I did not feel condemned in the slightest, however, I did feel extremely humbled and repentant.  That is how I knew it was the Lord.

Sometimes when our true character is revealed it can really be a shock to us!  I know it was for me.  But we can't truly know the depth of our character until we face trials, until the pressure is on.  In those trials is where perseverance is learned.  To persevere means: to persist in anything undertaken; maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement; continue steadfastly.  James said in verse 4 that perseverance must finish its work so that we may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  I've been on the verge of giving up many times over the last sixteen years.  There have been some really dark moments in the last few years where I felt that the "waves" of what I was dealing with were going to overtake me.  Yet, when I thought about what giving up would mean, there was absolutely no way I could do it.  To give up would have meant going against everything God says in his Word for my life.  I would have had to deny him and go my own way in order to give up, and that was unacceptable to me.  So, I kept going.  I'm still going.

I want to show you what the commentary in my bible says about verses 6-8:

To "believe and not doubt" means not only believing in the existence of God, but also believing in his loving care.  It includes relying on God and expecting that he will hear and answer when we pray.  We must put away our critical attitude when we come to him.  God does not grant every thoughtless or selfish request.  We must have confidence that God will align our desires with his purposes. A mind that wavers is not completely convinced that God's way is best.  It treats God's Word like any human advice, and it retains the option to disobey.  It vacillates between allegiance to subjective feelings, the world's ideas, and God's commands.  If your faith is new, weak, or struggling, remember that you can trust God.  Then be loyal to him.  To stabilize your wavering or doubtful mind, commit yourself wholeheartedly to God.  If you have ever seen the constant rolling of huge waves at sea, you know how restless they are - subject to the forces of wind, gravity, and tide.  Doubt leaves a person as unsettled as the restless waves.  If you want to stop being tossed about, rely on God to show you what is best for you.  Ask him for wisdom, and trust he will give it to you.  Then your decisions will be sure and solid.

I realized after I read that commentary that I was restless, unstable and unsettled.  Even after praying, I'd have a temporary peace, but it was very short-lived because I didn't have peace in my mind.  How can we have peace in our bodies when our minds are as restless as the waves of the sea?  It's just not possible.  Maybe it has something to do with the fact that once you've lived with something for so long, you can't imagine your life without it.  For me, that something is pain.  For you, it could be an addiction, a lust, a hurt, etc.  Whatever it is, if you are praying for the Lord to give you wisdom, or for him to solve your problem, or heal you, then you have to truly believe with all your heart that he hears your prayers and that he will answer them.  His plans are not our plans and his ways are much higher than our ways.  We can't put God on the clock.  His timing is perfect.  If we force the issue, or get all mad and scream at God it will do us no good.  It just reveals more and more of our immaturity.  That is why we must persevere if we have any hope of getting where God wants us to go.  Persevere in our trial and persevere in our faith and trust in God.

The Lord has told me many times what he wants me to do, and many times I've ignored his promptings out of fear.  That is why I am so happy that I didn't quit last night.  Whatever it is you're facing, STAND.  Don't waiver, don't be restless, don't doubt.  The Lord will give you everything you need to run this race for him no matter how many obstacles come your way.

(Mark 11:22-25)  22 "Have faith in God," Jesus answered.  23 "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea', and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him.  24 Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.  25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."

Friday, August 13, 2010

Who Are You Listening To?

A song by Casting Crowns just came on the radio. It's called "The Voice of Truth." I'm sure most of you have heard it before, as I have, many times. But today it has new meaning to me. As I mentioned in my previous post, my Dad was diagnosed with a brain tumor in July. A couple days ago, he went in for a biopsy of the tumor. They ended up removing the entire tumor! There are a couple of test results we are still waiting for, but the initial pathology report shows no cancer! My Dad and my entire family are so incredibly relieved.

Over the past few weeks, I have heard many "voices" in my ears. Most of them have been incredibly encouraging and I am so grateful to have so many positive people in my life. Then there are the other voices of some not so encouraging people. Some of them, I believe, were just overcome with emotion and expressed it outwardly when we initially found out about the tumor. But I realize that some people are just "doomsday folks" any way you look at them. The other "voices" were my own thoughts. Whether I was thinking them on my own, or whether the enemy (Satan) had a hand in them, I'm not entirely sure. All I know is that they were far from encouraging. Some of them were just plain scary to tell you the truth.

The question I had to ask myself was, "Who are you gonna listen to?" There's a difference between what we hear and what we choose to listen to. To hear means: a) to perceive by the ear, b) to be informed of. To listen means: a) to give attention with the ear; attend closely with the purpose of hearing; give ear, b) to pay attention; heed; obey, c) to concentrate on hearing something. We can't always choose what we hear, but we can choose what we listen to. I can hear some things that go in one ear and out the other; not affecting me in the slightest, but there are other things that I hear and then begin to really listen to. Those are the things that can take root and begin to affect me in a negative way if I'm not careful.

It is so important, especially when we're facing difficult circumstances of which we have no control over, that we choose to listen to the voice of Truth. The voice of Truth is Jesus Christ. What would the Lord say about your circumstance? What or who would the Lord tell you to believe? Who are you letting influence your thoughts? If they don't line up with the Word of God, throw them out! (Not the people, the thoughts...well, maybe some people too.) Don't let negative thoughts continue because they can turn into thought patterns and eventually end up affecting your personality. I never want to be defined as a negative person. My mind is a battlefield some days and it takes constant help from the Lord to win the battle. Don't try to defeat the battle of negative thoughts in your own strength. You need the Lord's help.

Psalm 55:22 says, "Cast all your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall."

1 Peter 5:7 says, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." It goes on in verse 8 to say, "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

We are easier to "devour" when we are weak. We are easier to devour when we are already troubled by our circumstances. It's crucial that we remain alert, especially when we are faced with bad news, in a bad set of circumstances, or feel all alone. Our patience, endurance, and our faith can be tested during those times and it makes it easier for the devil to prey upon us. That is why it's especially important during difficult times to surround yourself with positive and encouraging people. Get around other Christians who will lift you up, not try to tear you down or dig a deeper hole for you to lie in. Pay attention to what you are listening to and don't try to go it alone!

When Jesus said to cast all our cares on him, he didn't mean just set them down nicely at his feet. Listen to the definitions of the word "cast": a) to throw or hurl; fling, b) to throw off or away, c) to throw out, d) to throw forth; as from within; emit or eject. You have to imagine that when you are casting your cares (or, thoughts) on the Lord, you are throwing them off of you with no intention of taking them back. You are to hurl them. In the words of Judah Smith, "You gotta be a hocker! Just hock your cares at Jesus!" It takes a decision to cast your cares on Jesus. In order to cast something, you have to be willing to let it go. Let go of the negative thoughts and people in your life that are bringing you down. This gets tricky if you're dealing with say, a family member close to you. You can still interact and be polite to people who are negative, but you don't have to listen to the negative words coming out of their mouth.

I encourage you to spend some quiet time with the Lord on a daily basis. It is in those moments where we can hear him and listen to what he has to say. I'm not saying you'll never hear God unless you're sitting alone in a quiet room. But if you really need to hear the Lord regarding a certain situation, being alone and quiet and ready to listen is a good way to hear him. Guard your heart and your mind. Be ready to take every thought captive and evaluate it. If it's not in line with what God says, throw it out! God will always give you hope in the midst of your circumstances. He will always speak life into the situation. If it's not something encouraging, uplifting, positive, etc. then you can probably bet it doesn't need to be in your head. I'm not talking about regular old thoughts like, "Wow, I really like that car. That dog is funny looking. I could really go for a cup of coffee right now. Etc., etc." I'm talking about negative thoughts that make you feel something. Thoughts that lead to more thoughts, and can even change your attitude or your outlook in a negative way. Those are the ones that you need to cast off of you almost before you are even done thinking it.

I look at a negative thought as though a creepy spider just landed on me. Do you think there's a chance that I'm going to let that spider just hang out on my pant leg? No way! I'm going to cast it off as soon as I know it's there. Then, I'm going to make sure I killed it and look around for more of them to make sure there are no other spiders in sight. That's what you have to do when you get negative thoughts. Check to see where the thought came from and if it's developed into any kind of a pattern. It's easy to let one negative thought slip in, then another one, and another one. That's why you have to have to deal with them as quickly as possible.

I will leave you with one last scripture. "We demolish arguments and take every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." - 2 Corinthians 10:5 Paul uses military terminology to describe this warfare against sin and Satan. Even our thoughts must be submitted to God as we live this life for Him.