So, yesterday, my email and Facebook account were hacked. I still have not had them recovered, although I do believe they are both disabled now so that the hacker no longer has access to them. I apologize to anyone reading this who received an erroneous email from me, or chat sessions with the hacker on Facebook pretending to be me. I was thinking yesterday about how violated I felt. Most of my personal information is in my email account and I was feeling so angry that someone had violated my privacy like that. Not to mention the fact that I had to deal with phone calls and text messages literally the entire day from the moment I woke up until I shut my phone off before bed. I was reassuring people all day long that I was just fine and that I was NOT in London with my kids.
You know what I found out though? That I am loved. If there's anything good I can take from this experience, it's that my friends and family were truly concerned about me and would have sent me money if I really would have been stranded. Mostly though, they just wanted to make sure I was safe. That made me feel really good. I stopped getting annoyed at "another text" and "another phone call" and started enjoying talking to people I hadn't spoken with in several months. It was so good to talk to them!
This morning, I am still bummed out about the situation and am praying that it will be resolved quickly. But, I have a much more positive outlook than I did yesterday because my joy does not depend on circumstances. Am I happy this happened? Certainly not! But, I'm going to choose to look at the good. If I don't, I will fall apart. This has just been one of the many bad things that has happened in the past week. I won't get into the details, but it seems as if everything's falling apart. I am viewing it as a chance to see just how much faith I really have. The good thing is that I don't need a whole lot of faith to see big miracles happen. In Matthew 17:20b, Jesus says, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." So, technically, even though it's impossible for me to get into my accounts, God is going to make a way for them to be restored. I truly believe that. I believe that everything will be as I left it.
I have chosen to live a life of faith because I know my God is able. He is able and willing to help me when I need him. Are you living by faith? It's not always easy, but it is worth it. I was starting to get really depressed yesterday, I mean really depressed. Thankfully, the Word of God is like a two-edged sword (this time in a good way), and it cut through the depression before it could fully ruin my day. I am in awe of how one scripture can totally change my day. Well, off to get the girls and I ready for our day. I will keep you posted on the progress with resuming control of my accounts. Have a wonderful day!
Monday, October 26, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
The Blood of Jesus
I hope to post the recording of this song soon. I pray that it will minister to you as it has to me.
His Blood
He has never kept His blood away from me
It has always been right here to set me free
And at times I've tried to wash it all away
Feeling so unworthy of His love and grace
But when I doubted Jesus' love for me
He smiled and said these healing words to me
My blood it covers you
It covers you
Even if you try to wash it all away
My blood it covers you
It covers you
It covers you anyway
So whenever I am feeling beaten down
I just look to Him and He reaches down
He lifts my eyes to meet His gaze again
He says child here comes the blood once again
My blood it covers you
It covers you
Even if you try to wash it all away
My blood it covers you
It covers you
It covers you anyway
For God gave His only Son
The only thing to do
To free this world from sin
And bring mercy to you
And if there was only you
He'd have sent Him anyway
For He loves you with a passion
That will never fade away
His blood it covers you
It covers you
Even if you try to wash it all away
His blood it covers you
It covers you
It covers you anyway
Yeah, it covers you anyway
Oh, it covers you every day
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we now have received reconciliation." - Romans 5:8-11
"To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood, and has made us to be a kingdom and priests to serve his God and Father - to him be the glory and power for ever and ever! Amen." - Revelation 1:5b-6
"But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin." - 1 John 1:7
His Blood
He has never kept His blood away from me
It has always been right here to set me free
And at times I've tried to wash it all away
Feeling so unworthy of His love and grace
But when I doubted Jesus' love for me
He smiled and said these healing words to me
My blood it covers you
It covers you
Even if you try to wash it all away
My blood it covers you
It covers you
It covers you anyway
So whenever I am feeling beaten down
I just look to Him and He reaches down
He lifts my eyes to meet His gaze again
He says child here comes the blood once again
My blood it covers you
It covers you
Even if you try to wash it all away
My blood it covers you
It covers you
It covers you anyway
For God gave His only Son
The only thing to do
To free this world from sin
And bring mercy to you
And if there was only you
He'd have sent Him anyway
For He loves you with a passion
That will never fade away
His blood it covers you
It covers you
Even if you try to wash it all away
His blood it covers you
It covers you
It covers you anyway
Yeah, it covers you anyway
Oh, it covers you every day
"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we now have received reconciliation." - Romans 5:8-11
"To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood, and has made us to be a kingdom and priests to serve his God and Father - to him be the glory and power for ever and ever! Amen." - Revelation 1:5b-6
"But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin." - 1 John 1:7
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Everything Is Going To Be OK
Well, so much for my promise to myself that I wouldn't neglect this blog. You know what though? I am not going to beat myself up about it. My life has been extremely crazy this past month. I flew home to Seattle to pack up the rest of our belongings and get the house ready to rent. It was a much bigger task than I originally anticipated. It was also the week after my Uncle passed away, which made things even harder. All I wanted to do was sit around with my family and just "be" and instead, I had an entire house to pack. I am forever grateful to my family for helping me so much. I could never have done it without them.
I flew home from Seattle and immediately started packing our apartment so that we could move into the home we just bought in Virginia Beach. Let's just say, my attitude was not so great about packing two homes in the same week. But, I got it done and we moved in two weekends ago. Our furniture and all of our things from Washington arrived yesterday, after being delayed five days. Again, my attitude needed serious adjusting. I finally realized that I had no control over the situation and decided to relax about it. So far there are a couple things that were broken, but nothing too terrible. We haven't unpacked all the boxes though, so I am praying that the rest of our things are in the same shape as when I last saw them three weeks ago.
In the middle of all this moving, I am still in bible college and really trying to do well. Our final exam is next week and any prayers would be greatly appreciated. I have loved the class I'm taking on how to study the bible. I can never read the bible the same again. It's awesome! There is so much to the text that I never would have seen had I not learned what I've been taught in the past seven weeks. I am anxious to begin another class but have decided to take the next eight weeks off and begin after the New Year.
Today has been difficult. It was my Uncle's memorial service where they spread his ashes at sea and I couldn't be there. I have been feeling so helpless living across the country from my family. I feel like I should be there helping them, crying with them. I sometimes wish that I wasn't a "grown-up" yet. I remember coming home from school and my mom would be there with a snack waiting to hear about my day. I'd go in my room to do my homework and would smell dinner cooking on the stove. I was warm, I was loved, I was safe. I felt 100% protected by my parents and home was my favorite place to be.
I have been striving to make my home the same way for my kids. I don't always succeed though. Especially when I'm super stressed out and haven't given my cares completely over to the Lord that day. I start having the "superwoman" mentality where I feel like it's my job to take care of everything on my own. Like I'm supposed to be this super strong and powerful person who isn't swayed by the circumstances of life. Yeah, right! I'm a woman! I should know better than to assume that I will always be in charge of my emotions. Not to mention that I'm already dealing with several emotional issues at the same time. Throw in screaming kids, a very tired body, church responsibilities, bills, never ending boxes to unpack, homework, etc., etc. and you've got one lady who is very much on the edge!
Now that I'm done ranting, I would just like you to know that it's ok not to be ok sometimes. I'm not saying you should camp out there for very long, but there are going to be seasons in our lives where we really are not ok. This is one of those seasons for me. Don't misunderstand me. I'm not going crazy, I'm not mentally unable to function. I'm just really struggling right now. I miss my family so much. It was so weird to go to my house a couple weeks ago and sleep in my daughter's room, as a guest. My sister made her room look wonderful and I was very comfortable, but it was just plain weird. I felt like I should have been sleeping in my room, using my shower and my sink. I hope I'm not sounding selfish. That's not my intent. I was just so sad knowing that that was the last time I was ever going to sleep in my house.
I know, it's just a house. But it's more than that because I'm not just leaving the house. I'm leaving my entire family, all my friends, and the town I grew up in and it's not easy. Jesus never said that following him and pursuing his calling on our lives would be easy, in fact, he said just the opposite. He was so right! It's the hardest thing I've ever done. And yet, in spite of all the heartache, I have such a deep peace and I know that I'm going to be ok. I don't feel ok right now, but I know I will. I've already seen the favor of God as I've mentioned in previous posts. There is no doubt in our minds that this is where God wants us. But the heart takes time to heal. It broke my heart to leave and it still hurts. I thank God I have a loving husband and a wonderful church family who are incredibly supportive and wonderful. I'm beginning to see some of the reason why God called us here and I can't wait for more to be revealed.
I just want to leave you with a passage of scripture that always encourages me. It's Psalm 18:28-33: "You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights."
I flew home from Seattle and immediately started packing our apartment so that we could move into the home we just bought in Virginia Beach. Let's just say, my attitude was not so great about packing two homes in the same week. But, I got it done and we moved in two weekends ago. Our furniture and all of our things from Washington arrived yesterday, after being delayed five days. Again, my attitude needed serious adjusting. I finally realized that I had no control over the situation and decided to relax about it. So far there are a couple things that were broken, but nothing too terrible. We haven't unpacked all the boxes though, so I am praying that the rest of our things are in the same shape as when I last saw them three weeks ago.
In the middle of all this moving, I am still in bible college and really trying to do well. Our final exam is next week and any prayers would be greatly appreciated. I have loved the class I'm taking on how to study the bible. I can never read the bible the same again. It's awesome! There is so much to the text that I never would have seen had I not learned what I've been taught in the past seven weeks. I am anxious to begin another class but have decided to take the next eight weeks off and begin after the New Year.
Today has been difficult. It was my Uncle's memorial service where they spread his ashes at sea and I couldn't be there. I have been feeling so helpless living across the country from my family. I feel like I should be there helping them, crying with them. I sometimes wish that I wasn't a "grown-up" yet. I remember coming home from school and my mom would be there with a snack waiting to hear about my day. I'd go in my room to do my homework and would smell dinner cooking on the stove. I was warm, I was loved, I was safe. I felt 100% protected by my parents and home was my favorite place to be.
I have been striving to make my home the same way for my kids. I don't always succeed though. Especially when I'm super stressed out and haven't given my cares completely over to the Lord that day. I start having the "superwoman" mentality where I feel like it's my job to take care of everything on my own. Like I'm supposed to be this super strong and powerful person who isn't swayed by the circumstances of life. Yeah, right! I'm a woman! I should know better than to assume that I will always be in charge of my emotions. Not to mention that I'm already dealing with several emotional issues at the same time. Throw in screaming kids, a very tired body, church responsibilities, bills, never ending boxes to unpack, homework, etc., etc. and you've got one lady who is very much on the edge!
Now that I'm done ranting, I would just like you to know that it's ok not to be ok sometimes. I'm not saying you should camp out there for very long, but there are going to be seasons in our lives where we really are not ok. This is one of those seasons for me. Don't misunderstand me. I'm not going crazy, I'm not mentally unable to function. I'm just really struggling right now. I miss my family so much. It was so weird to go to my house a couple weeks ago and sleep in my daughter's room, as a guest. My sister made her room look wonderful and I was very comfortable, but it was just plain weird. I felt like I should have been sleeping in my room, using my shower and my sink. I hope I'm not sounding selfish. That's not my intent. I was just so sad knowing that that was the last time I was ever going to sleep in my house.
I know, it's just a house. But it's more than that because I'm not just leaving the house. I'm leaving my entire family, all my friends, and the town I grew up in and it's not easy. Jesus never said that following him and pursuing his calling on our lives would be easy, in fact, he said just the opposite. He was so right! It's the hardest thing I've ever done. And yet, in spite of all the heartache, I have such a deep peace and I know that I'm going to be ok. I don't feel ok right now, but I know I will. I've already seen the favor of God as I've mentioned in previous posts. There is no doubt in our minds that this is where God wants us. But the heart takes time to heal. It broke my heart to leave and it still hurts. I thank God I have a loving husband and a wonderful church family who are incredibly supportive and wonderful. I'm beginning to see some of the reason why God called us here and I can't wait for more to be revealed.
I just want to leave you with a passage of scripture that always encourages me. It's Psalm 18:28-33: "You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights."
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