I can't believe it's already been a week since my last post! Time has been flying by which I guess is a good thing. We've been having so much fun with friends and busy with gymnastics, church, birthdays, etc. I have been in true awe of how well I'm doing now. My feet and legs give me grief at times, but it's not at all what it used to be. My life is no longer dictated by the clock. There was a long period of time in my life just a few short years ago where I literally planned my entire day based on fear. I don't know when it began to control me exactly. I wouldn't do anything after about 1:00 in the afternoon because I was too afraid that if I was away from the house after that time, my feet would hurt too bad to get back home. Now, it was true that my pain level significantly increased as the day went on, but it got to be ridiculous that the clock ruled my day. Instead of going by how I was feeling at the time, I just assumed I'd be in pain, and so I was.
What you think, what you truly believe will happen, will happen. Our fears and our thoughts about ourselves are very powerful. If you dwell on what you fear, chances are your fears are going to come true. A guest speaker came and spoke at our church retreat that Josh and I attended about a month ago and he had amazing things to teach us. One thing that he said was this, "Fear is faith in reverse." Fear will produce results, just like faith will. It says something bad will happen and when it does, we say we can't believe that it actually happened. Well, why don't we believe it? If you've been dwelling on something and truly believing that it will happen, then why are you surprised when it happens? That goes for both good and bad things. If you're believing in faith that something good will happen, why are you surprised when God answers your prayers? He promises us that he will hear us and answer us. If you've prayed for something, without any doubt in your heart that God will hear you, then don't be surprised when He hears you. The same is true with negative thinking. If you've been thinking negatively about something and dwelling on all the things that could go wrong, then don't be surprised when everything goes wrong.
Many people focus so much on the negative that they can't even see the positive anymore. For example, there was a guy who had to give a speech and he was so nervous that he was physically ill. He could only focus on everything that could possibly go wrong with his speech. "What if I freeze and forget what I'm supposed to say? What if I stutter?" Well, he was so consumed by everything that could go wrong that when he got up to do the speech, all his worst fears came true. He flubbed the whole thing, he stuttered, he lost his place, he dropped his note cards,etc. If he would have focused on the positive things, told himself that he was going to be great, to just relax and not worry about anything, then chances are his speech would have gone a lot better, if not perfectly. What you truly believe about yourself is what is going to come out of you.
We need to be focusing on our good qualities, on our accomplishments, what we like about ourselves, etc. I'm not saying to become cocky or conceited. But for goodness sakes, have a little pride in yourself! You were created with love and extreme care by the God of the entire universe. That in and of itself says that you are pretty amazing! It's not by accident that you were put on this earth. God knew you before the foundations of the world. He knows your whole life before you even live it, and he still chose to create you. Sometimes I wonder why God would still create me if he knew how bad I was going to mess up my life at times. But, without mistakes, we wouldn't know the true meaning of grace. If we were perfect and without sin then we wouldn't have any need for a Savior. God knew we were going to fail and that's why he sent Jesus. It doesn't mean that we get to live carelessly and do whatever we want. We are to strive to be more like Jesus, but we need to know that we will never accomplish that fully, and that's ok. Jesus came to set us free from the law of sin and death. He came to give us abundant life.
Some people struggle to live an abundant life because of what's going on around them. Some people struggle because of what's going on inside them. If you submit to your circumstances, or to what's in you that's negative, you will never see what God has for you. God wants to bless you, uplift and encourage you. When he created the earth and man, he only had blessing in mind. Nothing in the creation of the world speaks of pain, suffering, poverty, etc. It was all about blessing. From the beginning, God wanted us to live an abundant life. Even though sin entered the world, that still hasn't changed God's mind about blessing and abundance. His desire is still the same. But, it's up to us to live by His principles and to position ourselves for blessings and not strife. What we see on the news, what we hear all around us regarding our economy doesn't surprise God at all, and it doesn't change what the Bible says. If anything, it confirms that what the Bible says is true. We don't have to be of the same mentality of the world. I'm not saying that we should be stupid. Not by any means. We can't pretend that we don't live in this world because we do. What I'm saying is that even though the media wants to tell us that we're all going to hell in a hand basket and that we're all doomed, I believe that there is a God above who loves me and protects me.
My husband and I have continued to be unbelievably blessed in the midst of this economic crisis, along with hundreds of others that we know. Why is that? Is it because we are super special and we deserve it? No, not necessarily. But, we feel that we have positioned ourselves to be blessed. We have remained faithful in our giving, both of our finances and time. We have remained faithful to trust God and not man. We know that we are going to be provided for. We have no doubts at all. I think that is the key of what I'm trying to say. You have to believe without doubt. I used to pray for so many things, but I never really believed that what I was praying for would happen. I was double-minded. May I just say from experience, don't pray that way. It does no good. Do you think it moves the heart of God when we pray and ask him for something and then have no faith in him that he will deliver what we've asked? What if someone asked you if you could fill in for them at work and this is what they said, "Hey, will you fill in for me at work? I know you probably won't show up, but I thought I'd ask anyway." Would that make you want to help that person out? Not so much. But if someone said, "Hey, do you mind filling in for me at work? You're always so reliable and your the first person I wanted to ask because I know I can count on you." Now that would motivate you in the direction of saying yes, right? It's the same with God. When you pray, believe that he will answer you, period. I finally did that when I would pray for my feet and legs to be healed. I started truly believing that God was going to heal me, and He is! My life is no longer dictated by the stupid clock. I trust God. Period.
Whew! I didn't mean to get my preach on again, but sometimes it just happens that way. : ) Seriously, I just want to see people living abundantly. It's an awesome way to live and it's possible for all who believe. I pray you all have a wonderful week and hopefully it won't take me as long to write another post next time. I will leave you with a few things my kids have been saying and doing lately:
- We walked outside the other day and Hailey said, "Hey Mom, it totally smells like sunscreen out here! No, wait...it smells like molecules."
- Sarah calls her covers her "cupboards." "Mama, I need my cupboards on!"
- I was trying to button Hailey's dress the other day and she wouldn't stand still. She said, "Mooom, stop it! You're going to make me walk away from myself!"
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Father's Day Thoughts
Today is Father's Day. I am so thankful that I have a husband who is such a great daddy to our two girls. As I type this, he is helping Hailey with an art project that she got for her birthday. It's supposed to be "easy, fast, and fun." It's a sand picture. You're supposed to peel off certain sections that you want to pour the sand on and then when you're done with that section, you just peel off another one and pour on a different color, etc. Well, the sections weren't cut through and the entire top layer was peeling off at the same time. So, he whipped out the exacto knife and has been slaving away cutting out each tiny section. What a guy!
I am also thankful today for my Dad. He taught my sisters and I so many things and has always been a tremendous example of love. When we were at church this morning, they played a video with a bunch of clips from different movies that were about fathers and their children, young and old. It got me thinking about my Dad and how much I miss him. It's been just over seven months since we moved from my home state of Washington to Virginia Beach. I know what the bible says about how a man is supposed to leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife, and vise-versa. But, I have to admit that sometimes it's not easy to be away from my mom and dad. We are a very close family and I always thought that we would live close to my parents and that my children would be able to grow up with them and learn from them. However, God had a different plan when he called us here. For the first four months I was miserable. I was depressed and I wanted to run back home. Even in spite of my bad attitude (that I didn't want to have), God was still blessing us. He knew that my heart was all for following in His will, but it was also torn between two different states. The cool thing about God is that he knows our hearts better than we do so, even though I had a bad attitude, he knew that I was just really sad and that I really was trying to change my attitude. I finally decided one day that I needed to get out of the funk I was in, and quick. So, I did. I prayed and asked God to help me be strong and to give me a joy deep inside about being here. I always had peace about being here, but I didn't have much joy. He answered my prayers. I started to really enjoy being here and now I love it! I miss my parents and my sisters so much, but I now have peace and joy about being here and it makes it so much easier to be away from them.
We get to go home for a week next month and I'm so excited! I can't wait to hug everyone and just hang out. No one makes me laugh like my family. We are nuts when we all get together. I love being able to be corny and silly with them. One thing I miss most of all are my long talks with my Dad. Some were serious, some not, but I always loved the fact that we could talk. I know some people don't have that kind of relationship with their dads and I know how truly blessed I am that I am one of the fortunate ones. My dad won the hearts of my sisters and I when he would make midnight runs to the grocery store for feminine products, run to the store at the last minute before a choir concert because we ran our nylons, and many more sacrifices that he made for us. I'm sure we will never know even half of the sacrifices he made for us. The reason I know that is because of the sacrifices I make for my kids each day. Being a parent has made me appreciate my parents so much more than I ever could before.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I am so grateful for the men in my life. They are true examples of love, honesty, loyalty, compassion, strength, goodness, and character. I pray that you will let the men in your lives know just how much they mean to you. Happy Father's Day everyone!
I am also thankful today for my Dad. He taught my sisters and I so many things and has always been a tremendous example of love. When we were at church this morning, they played a video with a bunch of clips from different movies that were about fathers and their children, young and old. It got me thinking about my Dad and how much I miss him. It's been just over seven months since we moved from my home state of Washington to Virginia Beach. I know what the bible says about how a man is supposed to leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife, and vise-versa. But, I have to admit that sometimes it's not easy to be away from my mom and dad. We are a very close family and I always thought that we would live close to my parents and that my children would be able to grow up with them and learn from them. However, God had a different plan when he called us here. For the first four months I was miserable. I was depressed and I wanted to run back home. Even in spite of my bad attitude (that I didn't want to have), God was still blessing us. He knew that my heart was all for following in His will, but it was also torn between two different states. The cool thing about God is that he knows our hearts better than we do so, even though I had a bad attitude, he knew that I was just really sad and that I really was trying to change my attitude. I finally decided one day that I needed to get out of the funk I was in, and quick. So, I did. I prayed and asked God to help me be strong and to give me a joy deep inside about being here. I always had peace about being here, but I didn't have much joy. He answered my prayers. I started to really enjoy being here and now I love it! I miss my parents and my sisters so much, but I now have peace and joy about being here and it makes it so much easier to be away from them.
We get to go home for a week next month and I'm so excited! I can't wait to hug everyone and just hang out. No one makes me laugh like my family. We are nuts when we all get together. I love being able to be corny and silly with them. One thing I miss most of all are my long talks with my Dad. Some were serious, some not, but I always loved the fact that we could talk. I know some people don't have that kind of relationship with their dads and I know how truly blessed I am that I am one of the fortunate ones. My dad won the hearts of my sisters and I when he would make midnight runs to the grocery store for feminine products, run to the store at the last minute before a choir concert because we ran our nylons, and many more sacrifices that he made for us. I'm sure we will never know even half of the sacrifices he made for us. The reason I know that is because of the sacrifices I make for my kids each day. Being a parent has made me appreciate my parents so much more than I ever could before.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I am so grateful for the men in my life. They are true examples of love, honesty, loyalty, compassion, strength, goodness, and character. I pray that you will let the men in your lives know just how much they mean to you. Happy Father's Day everyone!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
"I'll Do It Later, I'm A Procrastinator"
Do you ever wonder why you are the way you are? I do. There are many things that I like about myself, but there are also many things that I dislike about myself. For example, I am a procrastinator. I fully admit it. I have tried to change this several times but I just can't seem to master it completely. One thing that has forced me to change somewhat is my children. I can't procrastinate with them. If it's time for breakfast, I can't just sit around and not make them anything to eat. If it's bath time, I have to get going so that they will be in bed on time. If they fall down and hurt themselves, I can't just sit around and wait for them to come to me. I run to them and make sure they are ok. When it's time for preschool, I have to be prepared in advance so that we make it there on time. As mothers, we do what we have to do when we have to do it, not necessarily when we feel like it. Do I always feel like taking the time to prepare a nutritious meal from scratch, or read "just one more" bedtime story, or sit around just doing nothing with my girls when there are so many other things that need to be done? No. But I do it anyway because I love them and they are important to me.
This hasn't been easy for me. Especially the waking up early thing. I would love to be able to procrastinate until about 8:00 every morning, but that just ain't gonna happen. I'm slowly getting used to it and am very glad that my body can handle a cup of regular coffee again. I can't drink more than one, but it's enough to clear the fog somewhat. It's especially difficult if the kids have been up in the night, which is often, or if I've had a lot of dreams. I've been having the strangest and sometimes very disturbing dreams the past four nights in a row. I always try to analyze them (if I can remember them) and wonder what kind of person I am for dreaming these things. I know, they're just dreams. But, they are part of me and they really do make me wonder if there are things I need to deal with consciously so that they go away. Well, enough about that.
I got to thinking the other day about the difference between happiness and joy. I think that happiness is based on circumstances that are pleasant and fulfilling at the moment, but joy is being happy in the midst of circumstances that are unpleasant, challenging, and even scary at times. Here are the definitions of happiness and joy:
Happiness - 1) good fortune: prosperity 2) a state of well-being and contentment 3) a pleasurable or satisfying experience 4) Characterized by good luck; fortunate 5) Cheerful; willing: happy to help.
Joy - 1) the emotion evoked by well-being, success or good fortune, or by the prospect of possessing what one desires; delight: the expression or exhibition of such emotion 2) a state of happiness or felicity: bliss (complete happiness) 3) a source or cause of delight 4)a. intense and especially ecstatic or exultant happiness b.) the expression or manifestation of such feeling.
If you look at the definitions of happiness, what are the opposite definitions? Bad fortune, poverty, a state of sickness, an un-pleasurable experience, bad luck, unfortunate, crabby, unwilling, unhappy to help. You would have to say that if you are experiencing any of those things, then you can't be happy, you must be unhappy.
The opposite is true when you are looking at the definition of joy. My favorite part of the definition is "the prospect of possessing what one desires." Even if you don't have what you are desiring, you can still have hope in the prospect of receiving it. When you have hope, you have joy. That means that even in the midst of terrible circumstances, we can have joy. We may not feel happy, but joy is more than a feeling. It's about hope in Jesus. True joy is far deeper than happiness. Happiness is only temporary because it is based on external circumstances, but joy is lasting because it is based on God's presence within us. Don't base your life on circumstances, but on God. If we truly understand the future that he has planned for us, we will have joy no matter what we are going through down here on earth. This earth is not our home. There is a place in Heaven that God is preparing for us right now. Psalm 16:11 says, "You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."
Getting back to the procrastination thing, here are some definitions of the word, procrastinate: 1) to put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness 2) to postpone or delay needlessly 3) to defer action; delay: to procrastinate until an opportunity is lost.
That last definition really spoke to me because of what I've been procrastinating about lately. The Lord has been asking me to do something for a very long time. Out of fear and excuses I have been disobedient and have not done what he said to do. So far, he has been patient. So far, doors are still opened to me. But, I feel that his patience is starting to wear off a bit and if I continue to disobey, the opportunities that are possible right now may become impossible. He will give the opportunity to someone else. The last thing I want is to disappoint the Lord. I look at what he has done for me and what he's asking me to do and they don't even come close in comparison. So, I have taken the steps to obey and I am excited to see what happens when I actually get the opportunity to do it. When the Lord asks you to do something, he will give you everything you need to accomplish it, even if it seems impossible. Seek His wisdom first, above all.
This hasn't been easy for me. Especially the waking up early thing. I would love to be able to procrastinate until about 8:00 every morning, but that just ain't gonna happen. I'm slowly getting used to it and am very glad that my body can handle a cup of regular coffee again. I can't drink more than one, but it's enough to clear the fog somewhat. It's especially difficult if the kids have been up in the night, which is often, or if I've had a lot of dreams. I've been having the strangest and sometimes very disturbing dreams the past four nights in a row. I always try to analyze them (if I can remember them) and wonder what kind of person I am for dreaming these things. I know, they're just dreams. But, they are part of me and they really do make me wonder if there are things I need to deal with consciously so that they go away. Well, enough about that.
I got to thinking the other day about the difference between happiness and joy. I think that happiness is based on circumstances that are pleasant and fulfilling at the moment, but joy is being happy in the midst of circumstances that are unpleasant, challenging, and even scary at times. Here are the definitions of happiness and joy:
Happiness - 1) good fortune: prosperity 2) a state of well-being and contentment 3) a pleasurable or satisfying experience 4) Characterized by good luck; fortunate 5) Cheerful; willing: happy to help.
Joy - 1) the emotion evoked by well-being, success or good fortune, or by the prospect of possessing what one desires; delight: the expression or exhibition of such emotion 2) a state of happiness or felicity: bliss (complete happiness) 3) a source or cause of delight 4)a. intense and especially ecstatic or exultant happiness b.) the expression or manifestation of such feeling.
If you look at the definitions of happiness, what are the opposite definitions? Bad fortune, poverty, a state of sickness, an un-pleasurable experience, bad luck, unfortunate, crabby, unwilling, unhappy to help. You would have to say that if you are experiencing any of those things, then you can't be happy, you must be unhappy.
The opposite is true when you are looking at the definition of joy. My favorite part of the definition is "the prospect of possessing what one desires." Even if you don't have what you are desiring, you can still have hope in the prospect of receiving it. When you have hope, you have joy. That means that even in the midst of terrible circumstances, we can have joy. We may not feel happy, but joy is more than a feeling. It's about hope in Jesus. True joy is far deeper than happiness. Happiness is only temporary because it is based on external circumstances, but joy is lasting because it is based on God's presence within us. Don't base your life on circumstances, but on God. If we truly understand the future that he has planned for us, we will have joy no matter what we are going through down here on earth. This earth is not our home. There is a place in Heaven that God is preparing for us right now. Psalm 16:11 says, "You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."
Getting back to the procrastination thing, here are some definitions of the word, procrastinate: 1) to put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness 2) to postpone or delay needlessly 3) to defer action; delay: to procrastinate until an opportunity is lost.
That last definition really spoke to me because of what I've been procrastinating about lately. The Lord has been asking me to do something for a very long time. Out of fear and excuses I have been disobedient and have not done what he said to do. So far, he has been patient. So far, doors are still opened to me. But, I feel that his patience is starting to wear off a bit and if I continue to disobey, the opportunities that are possible right now may become impossible. He will give the opportunity to someone else. The last thing I want is to disappoint the Lord. I look at what he has done for me and what he's asking me to do and they don't even come close in comparison. So, I have taken the steps to obey and I am excited to see what happens when I actually get the opportunity to do it. When the Lord asks you to do something, he will give you everything you need to accomplish it, even if it seems impossible. Seek His wisdom first, above all.
Isaiah 55:6 says, "Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near." God is not planning on moving away from us, but we often move away from him. Don't wait until you have drifted far away from God to seek him because, later in life, turning to him may be far more difficult. I have been there, and it is not fun. So much heartache can be spared just by seeking and obeying God NOW, not later, when you feel like it. Sometimes there are many tears involved in obeying God and doing what he says. But, listen to what he promises us in Psalm 126:5-6. "Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them." You may have to stretch yourself beyond what you think is humanly possible to sow your seed where the Lord is asking you to sow it. But, he promises that we will reap a harvest and that we will have joy. Keep listening, keep seeking, keep obeying, stop procrastinating! You will see your reward.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Be An Example of Love
Today was an interesting day. I guess you could say that I "got up on the wrong side of the bed." I just did not have a good attitude about being awake at 6:15. I think it had something to do with the fact that I had very strange dreams last night, so I felt like I didn't really sleep. Who knows? It also could have been that I woke up to the sound of my girls fighting. Isn't that a lovely way to wake up? What was even better was that, along with the sounds of the kids fighting, was the sound of my husband yelling at them to stop it and be quiet because they were going to wake mommy up. I proceeded to tell him that I'd rather him just come and get me out of bed to deal with them rather than him having to get all frustrated about trying to let me sleep. What? Did I really tell him to wake me up so that I can deal with the fighting children instead of getting an extra half hour of precious sleep? The truth is, even though it frustrates me to no end when my kids fight, I can handle it better than my husband can. Maybe it's because I deal with it all day and I'm used to reffing and breaking up the fights. Maybe it's because he only has a certain amount of time in the morning to get out the door and he can't handle the massive distraction of the kids hitting each other, screaming, and crying at the top of their lungs. Either way, I have realized that although his intentions are good by wanting to let me sleep, it's just not working out. I am the mom, my job begins when the kids wake up. And that's ok. I may not like it very much, especially on days like today, but I realize that is just the way it is right now. Some day my kids will sleep in, some day my kids will stop fighting so much, some day they will be friends and, sadly, some day they will be gone. I know that all too soon I will be kissing them goodbye as they head off to college, or wherever their lives take them.
I wish some days that I could stop time. We'll be going along through the day and all of a sudden one of the girls will say or do something so "grown up" and it makes me just want to freeze that moment so I can hang onto it forever. I have to admit that sometimes I am scared about the future. Don't get me wrong, I don't live in fear of the future. I'm just saying that the uncertainty of it can be a little overwhelming at times. I wonder what kind of women my girls will grow into. Am I raising them in such a way that they will follow after the Lord and seek His will for their lives? Will they take what I've taught them and use it to change and impact their world? Will they want to tell me their troubles and their secrets when they are teenagers? Will I be a "cool mom"? What will this world be like when they are my age? I don't dwell on these things every day, just some days, like today. All I can do is raise them the best way I know how and love them with everything in me. I believe that if my girls know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are loved; by me, my husband, and most importantly, by God, then everything I hope for them will come to pass.
It is my duty to be an example of love to them so that they will learn to love others. My children are already very compassionate and I want to protect and nurture that in them so they will continue to be compassionate their entire lives. If I'm not careful, I can let my responsibility as a mom become a burden and place a yoke on myself. I am not aiming for perfection, I want my kids to see me "real." I don't have to be perfect, but I do have to lead by example the best way I can. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." I trust the Lord that he will show me what I need to be teaching my children and that they will hold fast to what they've learned and use it to be their own examples of Christ to the world.
Well, I need to get off to bed. 6:00 is going to come very quickly and tonight I am praying for a sound and dreamless sleep. Before I go, I want to share with you some of the girls' latest funnies. We were in line at a drive-thru on Tuesday night and it was taking a long time. Out of the blue we hear Sarah yell out, "Get goin' dude!" Hmmm...wonder where she learned that from (Josh)? Sarah calls her covers her "cupboards." We were listening to a worship cd in the car this morning on the way to preschool. All of a sudden, I heard Hailey start sniffing loudly. I asked her what was wrong and she said, "Oh, this song just makes me cry." "It makes you cry?" I asked. "Yeah, it's just lovely and so sad," she said. Words I never thought I'd hear myself say today (or any other day for that matter): "Stop making that noise Hailey! There's no sucking involved with eating a banana!" It was seriously the worst slurping noise she's ever made and it was driving me insane....worse than nails on a chalkboard! Anyway, those are just a few things from the week that I wanted to share with you.
I pray you all have a wonderful week. May God bless each one of you in his own special way and give you everything that you need.
I wish some days that I could stop time. We'll be going along through the day and all of a sudden one of the girls will say or do something so "grown up" and it makes me just want to freeze that moment so I can hang onto it forever. I have to admit that sometimes I am scared about the future. Don't get me wrong, I don't live in fear of the future. I'm just saying that the uncertainty of it can be a little overwhelming at times. I wonder what kind of women my girls will grow into. Am I raising them in such a way that they will follow after the Lord and seek His will for their lives? Will they take what I've taught them and use it to change and impact their world? Will they want to tell me their troubles and their secrets when they are teenagers? Will I be a "cool mom"? What will this world be like when they are my age? I don't dwell on these things every day, just some days, like today. All I can do is raise them the best way I know how and love them with everything in me. I believe that if my girls know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are loved; by me, my husband, and most importantly, by God, then everything I hope for them will come to pass.
It is my duty to be an example of love to them so that they will learn to love others. My children are already very compassionate and I want to protect and nurture that in them so they will continue to be compassionate their entire lives. If I'm not careful, I can let my responsibility as a mom become a burden and place a yoke on myself. I am not aiming for perfection, I want my kids to see me "real." I don't have to be perfect, but I do have to lead by example the best way I can. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." I trust the Lord that he will show me what I need to be teaching my children and that they will hold fast to what they've learned and use it to be their own examples of Christ to the world.
Well, I need to get off to bed. 6:00 is going to come very quickly and tonight I am praying for a sound and dreamless sleep. Before I go, I want to share with you some of the girls' latest funnies. We were in line at a drive-thru on Tuesday night and it was taking a long time. Out of the blue we hear Sarah yell out, "Get goin' dude!" Hmmm...wonder where she learned that from (Josh)? Sarah calls her covers her "cupboards." We were listening to a worship cd in the car this morning on the way to preschool. All of a sudden, I heard Hailey start sniffing loudly. I asked her what was wrong and she said, "Oh, this song just makes me cry." "It makes you cry?" I asked. "Yeah, it's just lovely and so sad," she said. Words I never thought I'd hear myself say today (or any other day for that matter): "Stop making that noise Hailey! There's no sucking involved with eating a banana!" It was seriously the worst slurping noise she's ever made and it was driving me insane....worse than nails on a chalkboard! Anyway, those are just a few things from the week that I wanted to share with you.
I pray you all have a wonderful week. May God bless each one of you in his own special way and give you everything that you need.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Happenings and Pics
I have something I want to write about, but I don't have much time right now and I really want to take the time when I write my next post. So, for now, I thought I'd share with you some of our family happenings.
Josh was promoted to Lieutenant Commander on June 1st. The girls and I went to his promotion ceremony and I got to pin his new oak leaves onto his uniform. We had to wait out in the hall for about ten minutes for a meeting to be over before we could go in and do the ceremony. It was everything I could do to keep the kids quiet. They just wanted to jump off the chairs over and over again, run into all the offices and explore, and basically make as much noise as possible. Thank God the military understand families and they love kids. When we walked around the corner, I was shocked! What I thought was a small office ended up being a huge conference room. There had to have been at least 30-35 officers in there. The kids were quiet for about two blessed minutes, then they decided to put on a show.
Here we are, standing in front of the two-star admiral who is trying to prepare Josh to be sworn in and the kids are climbing across the row of chairs lining the wall behind us. Then, Sarah found out that one of the chairs that was against the wall was an office chair that spun around. Hailey proceeded to jump into the chair and Sarah started spinning her around shouting, "Wheeeeee!" I was so embarrased, but everyone was laughing quietly and whispering how cute they were. They were so gracious and I was so thankful. The admiral had only good things to say about Josh and I was so proud of him. I was so proud of all of our military at that moment. They are truly amazing men and women.
So, as the kids continued to climb around and amuse themselves, Josh was sworn in and it came time for me to pin the oak leaves on. The admiral pinned one side and I pinned the other. I thought I was doing a pretty good job. I had the new pin lined up with the old pin holes, the leaf was facing upward, I thought I had it; until the admiral said, "Oops, the stem is pointing in the wrong direction. Let me fix that for you." He had to unpin it and turn the leaf so that the stem faced the outside corner of the collar. He was very nice about it, and made light of it, but I felt like an idiot. He said to my husband, "Hey, I should have left it that way. That would have been funny." I said, "Well, at least he really could have blamed it on his wife." It wasn't as bad as I thought it was but I still felt stupid. I've gotten over it now but, in the past, that would have devastated me. I've come a long way since then. Anyway, it was a very proud moment for us and I was so happy to be there and take part in it. Here is a picture from the ceremony:
Funny things my kids have been saying/doing lately:
Sarah: Every time she knows she's in trouble, she says, "My tummy hurts," and sticks her little lip out. She's such a faker!
Hailey: "Mom, I think you really need to take a time out now. You're getting kind of crazy."
Sarah: "It mines! It mines!" whenever you try to take something away from her.
Hailey: "Mom, I want to listen to the other virgin of the song" (instead of 'version'.)
Sarah: calls helicopters "pea pocters" and coffee "copy."
Hailey: insists that she is going to have her own unicorn when she gets to heaven. Who knows, maybe she will?
Sarah: has started licking us; our arms, legs, hands, bare skin, clothes, doesn't really matter. She will lick us and say with a cheeky grin, "I lickin' you. Lick me, lick me!" We're really hoping this stops soon. We think this started when Hailey showed her how to pretend she was a puppy. At least it's not the biting phase anymore.
Hailey: loves to sing around the house, in the car, in the store, wherever she is. Her song of choice lately has been, "I like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it." I love to hear my kids sing.
Sarah: loves to give kisses. Whenever she wants to kiss us, she puts her pudgy little hands on our cheeks and pulls us down to her level for a giant smooch. Love it!
Sarah: "It mines! It mines!" whenever you try to take something away from her.
Hailey: "Mom, I want to listen to the other virgin of the song" (instead of 'version'.)
Sarah: calls helicopters "pea pocters" and coffee "copy."
Hailey: insists that she is going to have her own unicorn when she gets to heaven. Who knows, maybe she will?
Sarah: has started licking us; our arms, legs, hands, bare skin, clothes, doesn't really matter. She will lick us and say with a cheeky grin, "I lickin' you. Lick me, lick me!" We're really hoping this stops soon. We think this started when Hailey showed her how to pretend she was a puppy. At least it's not the biting phase anymore.
Hailey: loves to sing around the house, in the car, in the store, wherever she is. Her song of choice lately has been, "I like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it." I love to hear my kids sing.
Sarah: loves to give kisses. Whenever she wants to kiss us, she puts her pudgy little hands on our cheeks and pulls us down to her level for a giant smooch. Love it!
I'm sure there are many more, but I've drawn a blank. They do so many funny things every day that I either need a video camera around my neck, or a notepad and pen in my pocket to capture everything. Here are some of my favorite recent pictures:
This was on one of our walks to see the ducks that live in the pond across the street.
This is Sarah at Josh's promotion ceremony.
Hailey loves to lie under the coffee table, without a shirt on of course.
My little Sarah Bean.
This is how Hailey helps me with the laundry. Who knew underwear could be so much fun!
This is when we took the kids bowling together for the first time.So there you have it. There has been much going on that I will write about later. Right now, the kids are getting very antsy and are hungry for dinner. I must cook quickly because we have to leave for the evening service at church in less than an hour. More soon...
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Take A Time Out
It has been three weeks since my eye surgery. My vision is slowly but surely improving and I have confidence now that it's going to be even sharper than it was with my contacts and glasses. It truly amazes me every day and it hit me yesterday just how cool this really is. I was in the pool with the kids and I could see! They could splash all they wanted and it didn't matter because I didn't have to worry about my contact lens washing out of my eye. I also felt safe and secure because I could see everything that was going on around me. This has been a dream of mine for over 20 years. I used to pray every night that I would wake up and be able to see. Now, through a blessing from my Grandma Peggy, and awesome technology, my prayers have been answered.
One of the things I have to continue to do for the next five weeks is use the prescription eye drops the doctor gave me after the surgery. Right now, I have to use them four times a day. In a couple weeks, it will go down to three times a day for a week, then two, then one, then done. Each time I put them in I have to keep my eyes closed for five minutes. For the first week, I had two sets of drops, so I had to keep my eyes closed for ten minutes each time. At first, this was really annoying to me. Forty minutes out of my day was spent having to do these drops. I am one of those people who finds it hard to just drop what I'm doing and lie down for ten minutes, but I have to admit that this is beginning to be something I look forward to. I get to take a five minute time-out four times a day. Since I can't do anything but shut my eyes, I find other things to do. I pray, I listen to the kids play around me, sometimes I put a song on my i-pod that is about five minutes long and I just worship God, sometimes I put a movie on that I've seen a million times because I can watch it in my head, sometimes I go outside and just listen to the sounds of the city. No matter what I do, I totally relax during those five minute breaks.
I encourage everyone to do this. Even after I'm done with the drops, I am going to purposefully keep taking those five minute time outs. It helps my mood, it helps my body, and it helps my spirit. I was worried at first that the kids would take the opportunity to go crazy and get into trouble during the time I have to keep my eyes closed but they haven't. They are good as gold every time. It helps when Josh is home because he will let me lock myself in my room while he keeps the girls busy for me. Those are the times when I can pray and worship with my i-pod to drown out all the sounds in the house.
You have to understand how weird it is for me to be writing about this. Just a couple yeas ago I was in bed and couldn't walk for so many months. Now, to be forcing myself to lie down is actually comical to me. Not in a "ha, ha" funny way, but in a "I can't believe I'm up more than I'm down" kind of way. The Lord has continued to heal me more and more and it's almost unbelievable some days. He told me once that I would forget the pain someday, but I would never forget what I went through. That has really been true. If I sit and think about it, I can remember how bad the pain was, but why would I want to sit and think about that? I never want to re-create that pain again. It's more the feelings that surrounded that entire period of time that I can remember vividly. There was so much fear, anxiety, bitterness, despair, helplessness, etc. that I thought the weight of it all would crush me. There were times when I literally felt like my chest was going to cave in from the anguish of not being able to take care of my daughter Hailey, my husband, and my home. All I could do was lie there and cry. I wasted so much time being resentful of the fact that I couldn't walk. Fortunately, God heard my cries for help and he rescued me from the pit of despair. But, he didn't answer me until I began to thank him in the midst of the pain. I had to choose to praise him through the pain. As soon as I started to do that, my healing began.
I'm not sure how I got off onto that subject exactly, but I think it's because if there's anything I want to say to you tonight it's this: Take time out of your day to be still before the Lord. Close your eyes and let him minister to you, or you minister to Him. Thank him for what you're going through, good or bad. If you are in a situation right now where you are in the pit of despair, just keep breathing. My Dad taught me that years ago. He said, "The only thing you have to do right now is keep breathing. That's your only job. If that's all you can do, you will live to see another day. Just keep breathing." I clung to that during that time of sorrow and suffering. I just kept breathing and I saw the salvation of the Lord. Make time to sit or lie down with your eyes closed at least once a day. You will be amazed at the refreshment it brings.
Here are a couple scriptures I'd like to leave you with. "I will exalt you, O Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me. O Lord, you brought me up from the grave; you spared me from going down into the pit." Psalm 30:1-3
"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." - Psalm 46:10
One of the things I have to continue to do for the next five weeks is use the prescription eye drops the doctor gave me after the surgery. Right now, I have to use them four times a day. In a couple weeks, it will go down to three times a day for a week, then two, then one, then done. Each time I put them in I have to keep my eyes closed for five minutes. For the first week, I had two sets of drops, so I had to keep my eyes closed for ten minutes each time. At first, this was really annoying to me. Forty minutes out of my day was spent having to do these drops. I am one of those people who finds it hard to just drop what I'm doing and lie down for ten minutes, but I have to admit that this is beginning to be something I look forward to. I get to take a five minute time-out four times a day. Since I can't do anything but shut my eyes, I find other things to do. I pray, I listen to the kids play around me, sometimes I put a song on my i-pod that is about five minutes long and I just worship God, sometimes I put a movie on that I've seen a million times because I can watch it in my head, sometimes I go outside and just listen to the sounds of the city. No matter what I do, I totally relax during those five minute breaks.
I encourage everyone to do this. Even after I'm done with the drops, I am going to purposefully keep taking those five minute time outs. It helps my mood, it helps my body, and it helps my spirit. I was worried at first that the kids would take the opportunity to go crazy and get into trouble during the time I have to keep my eyes closed but they haven't. They are good as gold every time. It helps when Josh is home because he will let me lock myself in my room while he keeps the girls busy for me. Those are the times when I can pray and worship with my i-pod to drown out all the sounds in the house.
You have to understand how weird it is for me to be writing about this. Just a couple yeas ago I was in bed and couldn't walk for so many months. Now, to be forcing myself to lie down is actually comical to me. Not in a "ha, ha" funny way, but in a "I can't believe I'm up more than I'm down" kind of way. The Lord has continued to heal me more and more and it's almost unbelievable some days. He told me once that I would forget the pain someday, but I would never forget what I went through. That has really been true. If I sit and think about it, I can remember how bad the pain was, but why would I want to sit and think about that? I never want to re-create that pain again. It's more the feelings that surrounded that entire period of time that I can remember vividly. There was so much fear, anxiety, bitterness, despair, helplessness, etc. that I thought the weight of it all would crush me. There were times when I literally felt like my chest was going to cave in from the anguish of not being able to take care of my daughter Hailey, my husband, and my home. All I could do was lie there and cry. I wasted so much time being resentful of the fact that I couldn't walk. Fortunately, God heard my cries for help and he rescued me from the pit of despair. But, he didn't answer me until I began to thank him in the midst of the pain. I had to choose to praise him through the pain. As soon as I started to do that, my healing began.
I'm not sure how I got off onto that subject exactly, but I think it's because if there's anything I want to say to you tonight it's this: Take time out of your day to be still before the Lord. Close your eyes and let him minister to you, or you minister to Him. Thank him for what you're going through, good or bad. If you are in a situation right now where you are in the pit of despair, just keep breathing. My Dad taught me that years ago. He said, "The only thing you have to do right now is keep breathing. That's your only job. If that's all you can do, you will live to see another day. Just keep breathing." I clung to that during that time of sorrow and suffering. I just kept breathing and I saw the salvation of the Lord. Make time to sit or lie down with your eyes closed at least once a day. You will be amazed at the refreshment it brings.
Here are a couple scriptures I'd like to leave you with. "I will exalt you, O Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me. O Lord, you brought me up from the grave; you spared me from going down into the pit." Psalm 30:1-3
"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." - Psalm 46:10
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Temptation
I wasn't sure what to write about tonight, I just knew I wanted to write. I prayed and the Lord gave me this scripture to share with you. "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you may stand up under it." ~ 1 Cor. 10:13. Paul was encouraging the Corinthian church that: 1) wrong desires and temptations happen to everyone, 2) you can resist temptation, as you've seen others do, and 3) any temptation can be resisted because God will help you resist it. He will help us recognize those people and situations that give us trouble and to run away from anything we know is wrong. Running from a tempting situation is our first step towards overcoming whatever the temptation is. 2 Timothy 2:22 says, "Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."
People often assume that running away is cowardly. But sometimes we have to physically remove ourselves from a situation in order to not give into sin. That is sometimes the most courageous thing we can do. We need to run away from anything that produces evil thoughts or actions. Temptations are so varied. They can be something as small as resisting a piece of candy that we know we shouldn't eat, or as big as plotting to harm someone who has wronged us. Any way you look at it, temptation can and often does lead to sin.
I have been struggling so much with the temptation to eat foods that I know are not good for me. I am one of those people who eat comfort foods for that very reason, comfort. It makes me feel better when I eat a Snickers bar. It actually really satisfies. (Sorry, I couldn't resist a cheesy pun.) Seriously, it relieves stress for me to eat it, or a huge bowl of mashed potatoes and gravy. That works well too. It may sound silly to someone else who doesn't have this problem, but it's a big problem for me. I am really trying to eat healthy and take care of my body. I don't feel that there is anything wrong with splurging once in a while, but not on a daily basis. The reason why it's a problem for me is not necessarily the food, it's the fact that I'm using food to comfort myself instead of going to the Lord for comfort first. I am not overweight, this isn't really a health issue for me. It's an obedience issue. It's a trust issue. The Lord will give me everything I need to resist the temptation, but it's still up to me to actually resist it. I have free will to accept His help, or not. Isn't that frustrating sometimes? It brings up the age old question, "If God already knows what we're going to do, then do we really have free will?" Can he change our minds and our decisions so that the outcome is what it was meant to be? Can we change the plans of God?
It is true that God knows the end from the beginning. He knows the words on our tongues before we even speak them. He knows every thought, every action. So, if he knows our lives before we live them, then he knows the decisions we're going to make today, tomorrow, and ten years from now. That's why people have such tough questions for God that will only be answered when we meet him face to face. (Or, at least we think so. He may choose to never tell us why certain things happened the way they did.) Questions like, "If God knew I was going to drive drunk and run my car into that telephone pole, then why didn't he stop me from drinking?" or, "If God knew that I was supposed to take the other job, and not the one I ended up taking, then why did I choose the wrong job?" or, "If God knew my friends were going to offer me some pot, then why didn't he stop me from smoking it and getting caught?" Whatever the case may be, temptation was there. People want to blame God for everything they do wrong. I don't blame God when I eat a piece of cake or a candy bar that I know I shouldn't have. It was my fault for eating it, not His. I didn't pray first to receive the comfort of the Holy Spirit. I just ate it impulsively and felt terrible afterward.
As I've mentioned before, the Holy Spirit does not condemn us. It's we who condemn ourselves. If you are in that place right now, move out! Don't camp there. Condemnation is from the enemy, not the Lord. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 it says, "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." Nowhere in there does it mention condemnation. Jesus says in John 3:17, "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." Romans 8:1 says, "Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." The Holy Spirit convicts and corrects so that we will learn and grow.
We know Jesus will help us when we are tempted. Hebrews 4:15-16 says, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." I encourage you to read Matthew chapter 4. It talks about when Jesus was led into the desert to be tempted by Satan. His temptations were great, yet he did not sin. If he would have sinned, his mission on earth - to die for our sins and give us eternal life - would have been lost. The temptation by the devil shows us that Jesus was human, and it gave Jesus the opportunity to reaffirm God's plan for his ministry. We need to remember that temptation itself is not sin, even though we may feel ashamed after being tempted. We sin when we give in and disobey God.
The devil likes to tempt us when we are most vulnerable - for example, under physical or emotional stress, lonely, tired, faced with uncertainty or a big decision, etc. But he also likes to tempt us through our strengths, where we are most susceptible to pride. Either way, we need to be on guard. We need to be in the Word and we need to do what the Word says. The devil's final temptation for Jesus was that he would give him the whole world if he would bow down and worship him. Jesus said to him in verse 10, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.' " Then the devil left him alone. We must resist the devil. He will try again and again to get us to sin. We have to remember that no temptation will be more than we can bear. Jesus will always give us a way out!
People often assume that running away is cowardly. But sometimes we have to physically remove ourselves from a situation in order to not give into sin. That is sometimes the most courageous thing we can do. We need to run away from anything that produces evil thoughts or actions. Temptations are so varied. They can be something as small as resisting a piece of candy that we know we shouldn't eat, or as big as plotting to harm someone who has wronged us. Any way you look at it, temptation can and often does lead to sin.
I have been struggling so much with the temptation to eat foods that I know are not good for me. I am one of those people who eat comfort foods for that very reason, comfort. It makes me feel better when I eat a Snickers bar. It actually really satisfies. (Sorry, I couldn't resist a cheesy pun.) Seriously, it relieves stress for me to eat it, or a huge bowl of mashed potatoes and gravy. That works well too. It may sound silly to someone else who doesn't have this problem, but it's a big problem for me. I am really trying to eat healthy and take care of my body. I don't feel that there is anything wrong with splurging once in a while, but not on a daily basis. The reason why it's a problem for me is not necessarily the food, it's the fact that I'm using food to comfort myself instead of going to the Lord for comfort first. I am not overweight, this isn't really a health issue for me. It's an obedience issue. It's a trust issue. The Lord will give me everything I need to resist the temptation, but it's still up to me to actually resist it. I have free will to accept His help, or not. Isn't that frustrating sometimes? It brings up the age old question, "If God already knows what we're going to do, then do we really have free will?" Can he change our minds and our decisions so that the outcome is what it was meant to be? Can we change the plans of God?
It is true that God knows the end from the beginning. He knows the words on our tongues before we even speak them. He knows every thought, every action. So, if he knows our lives before we live them, then he knows the decisions we're going to make today, tomorrow, and ten years from now. That's why people have such tough questions for God that will only be answered when we meet him face to face. (Or, at least we think so. He may choose to never tell us why certain things happened the way they did.) Questions like, "If God knew I was going to drive drunk and run my car into that telephone pole, then why didn't he stop me from drinking?" or, "If God knew that I was supposed to take the other job, and not the one I ended up taking, then why did I choose the wrong job?" or, "If God knew my friends were going to offer me some pot, then why didn't he stop me from smoking it and getting caught?" Whatever the case may be, temptation was there. People want to blame God for everything they do wrong. I don't blame God when I eat a piece of cake or a candy bar that I know I shouldn't have. It was my fault for eating it, not His. I didn't pray first to receive the comfort of the Holy Spirit. I just ate it impulsively and felt terrible afterward.
As I've mentioned before, the Holy Spirit does not condemn us. It's we who condemn ourselves. If you are in that place right now, move out! Don't camp there. Condemnation is from the enemy, not the Lord. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 it says, "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." Nowhere in there does it mention condemnation. Jesus says in John 3:17, "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." Romans 8:1 says, "Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." The Holy Spirit convicts and corrects so that we will learn and grow.
We know Jesus will help us when we are tempted. Hebrews 4:15-16 says, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." I encourage you to read Matthew chapter 4. It talks about when Jesus was led into the desert to be tempted by Satan. His temptations were great, yet he did not sin. If he would have sinned, his mission on earth - to die for our sins and give us eternal life - would have been lost. The temptation by the devil shows us that Jesus was human, and it gave Jesus the opportunity to reaffirm God's plan for his ministry. We need to remember that temptation itself is not sin, even though we may feel ashamed after being tempted. We sin when we give in and disobey God.
The devil likes to tempt us when we are most vulnerable - for example, under physical or emotional stress, lonely, tired, faced with uncertainty or a big decision, etc. But he also likes to tempt us through our strengths, where we are most susceptible to pride. Either way, we need to be on guard. We need to be in the Word and we need to do what the Word says. The devil's final temptation for Jesus was that he would give him the whole world if he would bow down and worship him. Jesus said to him in verse 10, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.' " Then the devil left him alone. We must resist the devil. He will try again and again to get us to sin. We have to remember that no temptation will be more than we can bear. Jesus will always give us a way out!
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